TOPS Weigh In

Well, last night I went to my 2nd TOPS weigh in and I was the biggest loser for the week! Yippee. Recorded a loss of 3.6 pounds, from 250.4 to 246.8.

I was very good about eating breakfast all last week and using my food diary. I did have to survive a Christmas party at work, but apparently must have done OK.

Just gotta keep it up. We won't meet for TOPS again until after Christmas and New Year. Gotta be sensible.

For Today...

Ate breakfast of an apple with low fat caramel (yeah I know it's a little decadent but at least I had fruit!) Listening to my body, eating when my stomach growls so I had some string cheese at about 11 AM. Trying to keep healthy snacks in the fridge at work. Keeping my food diary, shooting for 1500 calories per day. Yesterday I had just a little over 1400 calories.

I forgot that when you eat healthy you  actually can eat a larger volume of food and it is more satisfying. I just totally got out of that habit. I'm trying. Baby steps. Thanks for the encouraging comments all! :)

For Today...

OK, I got a better start today. I went to my first TOPS meeting last night. First official weigh-in (fully clothed) was 250.4. Goal for this week is to eat breakfast each day and to keep a food diary. So this morning I made myself an egg and some peaches. It's a start.

Day One...Again

I've lost myself. I haven't been back to these pages in months. My weight has continues to increase as I have used food as an emotional bandaid in my life lately. Stresses at work and in my personal life have been difficult and I have fallen back into old patterns.

My weight today is 249. This is an awful number to write here. I know that I desperately need to change my life. I have chosen to ignore my own well being and have soothed myself with the foods that bring me happiness--well temporary happiness, but eventually pain.

So here's where things stand:

• I am not using my YMCA membership--either start using it or cancel it.
• Start eating real food again, you cannot survive on the absolute junk you have been eating lately. There is no nutrition in it.
• Start eating breakfast again, you quit when your band was too tight, but now you need the nutrition to start your day right.
• You must keep a food diary. It is the only way you can be accountable.
• You need to concentrate on protein again, and get rid of the carbs and sugar.
• You should blog again, just another place to report progress and be accountable. Perhaps you even need an outside source to report to. TOPS? Weight Watchers? A friend or family member?

It's time to start over. One day at a time.

Doing Good So Far

Here's the report for the week...

• The scale is down 4 pounds to 228 (gotta be water weight, but I will take it!)
• Been to the Y three days in a row, walking, cardio machines and the pool!
• Kept food diary three days in a row, meeting calorie goals each day!

Carry on!

It's a New Day!

It's a new day of living a better life. I have used a plethora of excuses for about a year and it hasn't gotten me anywhere but fat. So today, I promised I got myself out of bed at 6:00 AM and went to the YMCA. I walked and did several machines, exercising for about an hour. I had yogurt and a bit of granola for breakfast and tracked everything in MyFitnessPal. A good start, now to repeat and repeat and repeat. Scale said 232 this morning. That has to change!

Today is The Free-For-All...Then Tomorrow Starts!

Well, it's time to shake things up. Today I am having a free-for-all food wise. But I hope to make it my last for a long time. It's time to take hold of my life again and do good things for myself. I have not been feeding my body well for a long, long time and the scale shows it, my too tight clothes show it and I have had enough. So today was the day for Oreo's, Cheetos, pizza, ice cream and the rest of the crap I have been choosing for myself. Enough is enough. So get it out of your system and tomorrow is a brand new day. Here's the plan:

• Get up at 6:00 AM and go to the YMCA for exercise
• Eat a good breakfast
• Keep my food diary again, shooting for 1500 calories per day

Day one is coming. I am ready to embrace it again. Scale today reads 230 and I am tired of it. I will work on losing again and I will succeed. 

Angry Band

I have an angry band this morning. It was irritated on Saturday after a vomiting episode and I didn't take very good care of it. Then I had another episode last night. This morning, water is painfully going down. Well, guess today is liquids for me. Sigh. I gotta take better care of my tool.

By the way, the scale says 229 and I am 40 today. 

Good Restriction

Feeling good about my last fill. It took a few days to get used to the new normal, but I am feeling very good about it. I can still eat normally when out with a group, but only 1/2 of a meal or less. So I feel good about that. Scale today said 225. Woohoo! It's slow, but at least is steadily heading downward. I know that exercise would help a lot, but I am having trouble squeezing it in--which is a good thing right now, as I found a new friend, via Match.com and he and I have been spending a good amount of time together. Life is getting better all the time. I feel content. :)

Slow is the Way to Go

Eating is a very slow process these days, and I need to get used to that again. I also need to get out of the habit of "finishing my plate". When I feel full, I need to stop. But sometime I feel like I didn't get enough, nutrition wise. Such a fine line of just enough and not too much.

Been trying to exercise when I can, I wish that my schedule was a little more forgiving sometimes but again, it is all about finding a balance. Scale says 226--but TOM is here, so I am just fine with that number. I just need to keep working on it. Steady is a good thing.

Saw a Glimpse of 225

It was a very short, fleeting moment that could not be repeated, but for just one moment this morning I saw a new number of 225. Thankfully the scale is headed downward. I am having a littel trouble eating this morning, feeling a little stuck after about half of my fruit and yogurt parfait. I must not have chewed my first bites well enough. It is also TOM this week, so perhaps my hormones are wreaking havoc on me too. At any rate, things are looking better for the moment.

Oh How Fickle!

Part of me says I am to tight, part of me says this is just going to take a little adjustment after having been so loose for so long. It's iffy right now. I have been trying to listen to my body and when I feel a soft stop, I stop. I don't want to abuse my band. But I am back to VERY small portions. Guess I need to give it a little time and if I still feel too tight in a week or two, then it's back to my doc's office for a tweak. Be smart, don't tolerate being too tight.

On a good note the scale is down again, today it said 226. Making slow progress. My schedule is wreaking havoc with my exercise right now though. Gotta find a way to squeeze that in.

Restriction...I Forgot What You Felt Like

Oh my, lunch today was a bit of a surprise. I had just gotten my fill yesterday--I thought it was rather non-aggressive, so I was surprised to day when scrambled eggs for lunch just did not agree with me. Vomit and sliming is not good. Guess I better think twice about my foods choices this week. This morning yogurt and granola went down OK, but I did feel a little tightness at the end. Don't want to make my newly tight band angry. Must behave myself until I am used to this new restriction level. Getting filled is always a new adventure in eating!

Keeping Up to Keep Weight Off

Keeping up to keep weight off

Very interesting (and frustrating) article that my bariatric clinic shared with us this morning. Ugh, no wonder I struggle. It is a constantly moving target.

No Loss, But No Gain...That's a Victory!

I had a fill appointment today and I was so pleased to see that the scale was exactly the same as my last visit about a month ago on July 3rd. There is a lot to be said for maintaining for me right now. So I think I have a good exercise plan in place, but I need to curb my snacking. I also think I need to just chose better, more nutritious food. I have been choosing crap and have been feeling empty and unsatisfied so I go looking for more food. I didn't lose like I had hoped to, but at this point, maintaining is an awesome thing. Hope I can get my act together soon. Willpower, determination and choice are the only things that will work. I am glad for a new restriction level again. Small steps.