Off to the Back to Basics Session!

I am really looking forward to the Back to Basics session offered by my doc's office today. I just want to soak in all the information and remind myself what it was like to be a new lapband patient. I hope I get some new (or renewed) information and can use it to my advantage. Today the scale gave me 219. Still trying to be gentle to my band, really taking it easy with soft foods for the time being.

Another Day of Softies

So far today i have just water and yogurt for breakfast. I think I will stick with a diet of soft foods today and give the old band a good rest. Today already felt better when I ate the yogurt, a little restriction but not the unbearable sliming and regurgitating. So I think that I will just be gentle for one more day. Tomorrow I am off to my doc's office for a lapband refresher course and a support group. Then I have a surgery consult the following day for my gall bladder. It's the same surgeon who did my port revision for me last summer. So we will see what he has to say about that. Scale has been hovering between 219-220. I guess I can live with that, it is down from the beginning of April and that is a good thing.

Update...I had soup for lunch, and that worked pretty good. Tonight for supper I thought I would try something just a little more substantial. So it was some ham salad, which went down so-so. Then I had a craving for cheesy noodles, which after a few bites it was pretty obvious was not going to go down. So I stopped immediately and now I am doing some sliming. This is not good. I had such a small fill, I don't think I need an unfill, but this is really quite miserable. Not sure what I want to do just yet. Perhaps tomorrow's refresher course will help me decide if I am just forgetting what real restriction is like or if I need an unfill. I was really hoping that my band would have calmed down by now. Ugh! So fickle! 

No Solids for Me Today!

I am going to do just liquids today, trying to get my band to calm down. I am just having a glass of milk for breakfast and even that is difficult. It's going down but I am definitely feeling the tightness. Mornings are always my tightest, usually I have yogurt or a bowl of cereal and that is a challenge. So milk being slightly uncomfortable is a little concerning.We will see how the rest of the days goes.

Update...I was very good to my band today, only liquids and/or extreme mushies. The most solid thing I had today was soup. Things got better throughout the day, but I would say that I am not ready for solids yet. I will try to add a few more substantial mushies tomorrow. So far so good, I think it was just irritation rather than being too tight. Gotta learn to be nicer to my band! It seriously feels like two years ago post-op...it's like a new band again!

Update #2...I am feeling a lot of gurgling tonight, which I haven't felt in a long time. I am also feeling a little heartburn tonight. So I popped a Tums and I hope that makes things feel better. I sure hope I get things figured out. 

Irritated Band or Too Tight?

Ah yes, that is the question...have I just irritated my band with the last few days of difficult eating or am I too tight? Tonight for supper I only managed to get about a 1/2 cup of cheesy green beans. I was also going to have some ham salad, but after a bite I realized that, that would be a losing battle. I think I have irritated my band and perhaps a day or two of liquids would do me some good. Then I would know whether it was too tight or just irritation. This re-learning how to live with a band is a little fickle. I kept saying I would try just liquids, the last day or so, but didn't follow my own advice. I guess I better really mean it. So for the rest of tonight and all of Saturday I vow to only have liquids! Gotta get my band in a happy place again.

Like Learning to Walk Again

Eating is a while new adventure again. I am back to lapband size portions of things and it is so different. It is almost a chore to eat. It takes a long time to chew stuff down and my portion sizes are incredibly small. I had almost forgotten what this was like. I still am eating just a bit too much, and I am sliming and having to swallow down again and again after my meals. Soon I will learn to just stop. But I haven't got that notion of finishing my plate out of my head just yet. I can't believe how little food I had for lunch today...about 2 ounces of turkey, 1 oz of cheese and about about 10-12 baby carrots. I topped things off with a little sweetness, with some sugar free jello. I should have stopped before the jello, because now it is sitting at the top of my stomach taunting me.

I look at the size of what I ate and think how in the world can that satisfy me?! But back in my weight loss heyday, that was enough. I realize now how long I have not been feeling my band and taking advantage of the benefits of restriction. It is a brand new world again. Welcome to the green zone!

Lesson Learned

I hate a rather sudden...um let's call it a "rejection" of my lunch today. What I thought was just a cough turned into me expelling my slime and part of my lunch. Apparently I have angered my band and things are pretty tight down there. So I am gonna put myself on some self-imposed mushies/liquids for a day or so to give it a rest. There is a price to pay for finding the green zone. Like I said, I need to learn to eat like a bander again...I haven't been doing that for some time, and so it is a whole new learning experience again. I am miserable this afternoon, with sliming and having to continue to swallow down my lunch. Better give my band a rest, the rest of the day and perhaps tomorrow.

219 & Listening to My Band

Saw 219 on the scale this morning which is so awesome. Thank goodness I am headed in the right direction. I realize that with my new tightness it is more important than ever to listen to my band...when it says I'm full, it really means it. I had gotten into the habit of cleaning up my plate again and I can't afford to do that. I think in my subconscious there is a "fear" that if I don't eat what I put on my plate I will be hungry later and so I feel the need to eat the portions I placed on the plate. But that's pretty stupid as I demonstrated to myself last night when I vomited, rather violently the last bits of ham and potato that I thought I could squeeze down my throat. Yeah, don't want to do that again.

Even this morning, my cereal bowl was telling me, just leave those last two or three spoonfuls, but I went for it anyway, and now I sit here sliming and uncomfortable. I need to get back that mental awareness of when my pouch is full and convince my brain that it is enough and it's time to stop. It had been so long since I felt a good green zone restriction, I think I forgot what it was like. I am glad to have found it again, now I just need to learn to live with it again.

Oh Sweet Restriction!

It is taking me a long time to eat! Yea!!! Took a good 25-30 minutes to slowly chew and eat my supper tonight, a good sign that my band is at a good restriction level. Feeling the green zone again is awesome. Tonight I went to my usual water aerobics and then I also stayed for water volleyball. So I had a great workout today. way under on my calories for the day, I even have room for a low cal snack later tonight.

New Number!

Oh my, it has been a long time since I have been able to say that! I didn't believe the scale this morning, so I stepped on it 3 seperate times, and each time it came up with 220. I can't believe how much weight will fluctuate in one week. But I will take it. I have been keeping my food diary and trying to really watch my calories again. So glad for restriction, it makes life so much easier. I need to keep my focus.

Feeling Better

Feeling slightly better about the scale today, as it is down to 223. Much better than the numbers I saw a week or two ago. I have been very good about keeping my food diary. Easter weekend was a bit out of control, but it is back to the grindstone today, as I was within about 50 calories of my daily goal. I also was good about drinking my water today. Was traveling for work today so I didn't get in my exercise today, but I will get back to it tomorrow.

Having a gall bladder surgery consultation next week and I will also be attending a "back to basics" course for lapbanders. I am feeling great restriction right now, it's nice to know that I have a lapband again.

Did pretty good this week, following my calorie intake on My Fitness Pal. Today was the only day that I went over my calories. I'm OK with that, just need to get back on track again tomorrow. I am feeling good restriction and that helps a lot. I definitely can't just sit there and mindlessly stuff my face like I did a week ago. I hope i can keep that feeling and help re-learn what it feels like to be in the green zone. It's been a long time since I have felt it.

Didn't do great on exercise today, it was windy outside so walking wasn't much of an option. Could have gone to the Y, but I guess I just needed a break today. Back on the horse tomorrow with water aerobics at 9:00 AM.

Thank You Restriction!!!

What a difference a new mind set and some restriction makes. Today I finally started eating like I had a lapband again. A small, salad size plate, measured servings and I am half way through and feeling full. Slow eating, taking a full 30 minutes to eat and a good amount of protein. That's how you lose weight! Keep it up girl. Now, this afternoon I will be drinking lots of water and I have a local snack figured out if I get the hungries. You know how to do this...now the only thing to do is repeat, repeat, repeat!

For later today, I have water aerobics at 5:30 and I plan on getting on my new shoes and new workout gear and taking a walk in the beautiful sunshine.

Afternoon Update...Took a sugar free chocolate pudding break---such a better option than my previous, reach for a candy bar break. Only 70 calories versus 250 or more. Gotta be smart!!

I'm Ready to be a Loser Again

It's time to really get serious about things here. I was at my docs office for a fill yesterday so my band is nice and tight and ready to be used in the right way. I am scheduled to go to a "Back on Track" session at my docs office in about two weeks and I am hoping it will help me really get serious about things. I always love getting a fill because it feels like a clean slate to start with.

My goal is to track my food intake on My Fitness Pal on my smartphone for 2 weeks...no exceptions!!! I am going to continue going to water aerobics and I am going to add in walking this week too. It's time to concentrate on me. I want to see onederland again. I will get there.

Testing my posting capabilities with my Blackberry...

TIme to Turn the Page...

Well, I have had what is perhaps the most tumultuous year of my life and I feel like it is time for me to turn the page on the past and get my life in order again. Since April of last year I have been through job loss, job interviews, moving twice, port revision surgery, falling in love, an engagement, a broken engagement, the end of a relationship, going back to therapy, increasing my antidepressant dosage and the most recent in my line of not so lucky stuff is dealing with gall stones. Well, I am tired of the path I am on and I refuse to let my life take me in that direction anymore. I see now that I am stong enough to withstand just about anything. 

So here's the problem...or perhaps let's call it a challenge instead...I have gained back about 25 pounds this past year. It is a number I am not proud of and I know that I can do better for myself. I have a lapband adjustment scheduled for next week, I have a brand new pair of walking shoes and a membership at the Y. I just download the newest calorie tracking app to my smart phone and I am ready to tackle those 25 pounds so that I can once again be counted among the people who live in onederland. It's time to find me again.