Recovering From Gallbladder Surgery

Today is my first day post-op recovering from gallbladder surgery yesterday. Feeling good as long as I don't move too much. Got my Vicodin and that makes life better, LOL. Hopefully this takes care of things, I was not enjoying having attacks.

I am not even going to go near the scale in a while. I am just coming of of TOM, and that always causes bloating. I am not eating much just yet, easing back into a normal diet. So hopefully that will help the scale keep on moving. Only bad part is I won't be doing much exercise for a while. Gotta ease back into that too.

So that's the report for today, healing is going well so far.

TMI onTOM

OK, I know I can talk openly to my blog readers...so today's topic is my time of the month, also known as TOM. As a fat girl, I didn't get my period. It just stopped. The official term would be amenorrhea. As a woman in my 20's and 30's I went through all the tests, ultrasounds, etc. They ruled out PCOS and many doctors over the years just scratched their heads and prescribed birth control pills as a "fix" to make me menstruate. Not once did those doctors say...you are too fat and your body is telling you that by stopping menstruation. My fat cells and messed up hormones were interfering with my menstruation. My body was telling me loud and clear for over 10 years, "you are not healthy" but I didn't listen.

So, why all the talk about TOM today? Well, number one it started today and I have been tracking it using on online calendar. Today I realized that I have had 14 periods in a row--that's a real record for me! They are nearly "normal" in length, flow, predictability, etc. Something I have NEVER experienced in my life.This is all a by-product of losing weight. I never knew that I could be "normal".

So that also makes me think about another part of TOM, and that is the potential ability to get pregnant. Now mind you I am not currently in a relationship, but I am working on it. I am nearly 40 years old and wondering about the potential to still become a mom someday. I guess after all those years of having no periods I just assumed that infertility might be an issue. But now, after over a year of being normal in the world of menstruation, it makes me wonder about my fertility. Perhaps there is a chance yet? But first things first, gotta find the "baby daddy" LOL. Just some thoughts rattling around in my brain today. It's another one of those "I didn't realize what being that fat was doing to me" kinds of epiphanies.

Gallbladder Attack!

Well, I hope I had what will be my last gallbladder attack. Had lunch and went back to work when the pain started in. So I went home, took a warm bath and some pain reliever and waited it out. Then slept for 2 hours after the pain subsided. Hopefully this will be my last one, as I have surgery scheduled for Monday to get it removed. Hope that all goes as planned.

Claiming a 6 Pound Loss for April!

Woohoo, I am going to officially claim a 6 pound weight loss for the month of April! I started the month at 224 and ended at 218. I have seen glimpses of 217 and 216 but they aren't ready to stick just yet. I am so happy that I am losing again, and doing about a pound a week+ is just fine with me. I know that I can help it along a little more with adding some more exercise, but I will get there. My eating is going good because of good restriction and keeping a food diary again. I am creeping back towards being able to say I have lost 90 pounds (need to be at 213 for that)--so with a little luck and hard work maybe I can see that sometime this month. Next stop after that is getting to 100 lost (again) and onederland (again). Then the trick will be to stay there.

So for today I shall celebrate 6 pounds!!!!! Yea me!!!!

Can't Believe My Eyes! 216!

Wow, couldn't believe my eyes this morning as the scale gave me 216. Wowee! Not sure if it will stick but that is so cool to see it. Oddly enough, it's when I increased my calories a little bit again, I started to lose. It's hard to find just the right calorie level that helps you lose but doesn't shut down your metabolism. So fickle! Anyway, I am pleased that the scale is going down instead of up!!!

217, Feeling Satisfied and Lubrication

Well, I was super happy to see 217 on the scale this morning. I am not sure if it will stick just yet, but I always love seeing a new number! Yippee for me. I am headed in the right direction again!

In other news, I was trying really hard to not drink with my meals, but it was so tough. I was having terrible episodes of sliming and feeling full way too early. So I decided to allow a little bit of "lubrication" and it has made all the difference. I sip just a little bit of liquids to help things go down but not so much that it washes on through. So I am feeling satisfied and not spending a half hour after eating, trying to swallow down slime. Feeling really good about that. I can tolerate this level of restriction much better now. I feel like I am in a good place.

I went to water aerobics this morning and had a great workout. I am really starting to push myself harder in class and I can feel my heart rate going up. Awesome. We do a move called ab rollers, it's hard to explain but you use your whole body and a resistance barbell. It is an awesome move. I love the Y! As the weather gets nicer I would also like to add in a little more walking. Feeling good today!

I've Got the Gurgles

You know your banded when you get the gurgles. Today, I am like a noisy factory churning away on digesting my food. I was having an afternoon smoothie and I think I could hear every spoonful go down one at a time. Quite embarrassing, thankfully I don't share an office with anyone. LOL.

Lunch was slightly better today. I am learning to listen to that soft stop sensation, knowing that pushing any more food down my throat will only result in misery. It was pretty slim pickins for calories though, so I supplemented today's lunch with the fruit smoothie. Other wise all I managed to get down was a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, about 3 thin slices of deli meat and 5 reduced fat club crackers. That's only about 220 calories for the meal before I had to call it quits. So I threw in the smoothie for good measure. I make it with a frozen fruit mix of peaches, strawberries, mango and pineapple with some yogurt and a splash a apple juice. Yummo, and it helps me get my fruit intake which was nearly non-existent before I got the idea of making smoothies from my PA.

Scale gave me 218 today. I sure hope I see 217 soon. Next week may be a little challenge as I am at a work conference which means extra calories through endless buffets and breaks and some liquid calories with my after hours entertainment. So I will have to try to behave.

Is There Such a Thing as Lapband Fatigue?

I had a thought this morning, as I was struggling to get my breakfast smoothie down. Is this what I expected lapband life to be like? I think in the first year after banding I didn't mind feeling my band, because then I knew it was working and I was losing weight. I was happy with it. But lately, it almost seems like a nuisance to me. I am feeling good green zone kind of restriction right now, but I am always tight early in the morning, so I have to go slow. It's taken me a half hour to eat my smoothie--a liquid!! I have felt pressure, had the hiccups for going to fast and am sliming just a little bit. What a process. Granted my meals later in the day go a little better, but they too take at least a half hour and are a bit of a production. All part of being banded I guess.

Is there such a thing as lapband fatigue? Like I am just tired of having a lapband and all the fuss a weight loss surgery comes with? Maybe it's just frustration in not losing as fast as I would like. Maybe I had a taste of what unencumbered eating was like again (that's why I gained 25 pounds back!!). Maybe it is as others have described, the honeymoon period of easy weight loss is over and I am not at goal so there are major frustrations in that.

I am kinda sick of having a lapband, yet I know that if I were to be without it I would easily regain all of my weight back and more. Today the scale said 219 and that means I have lost a total of 84 pounds. I should be proud of that, that's huge. But I am also kicking myself because at one point I was able to say I've lost 100 pounds! At one point I could also say I am under 200 pounds, finding my way into onederland--not any more though. Ugh. It is a constant mental and physical battle. I'm tired of the fight, but I know that without the fight I would be back to 300 pounds plus in a heart beat.

Well, perhaps I need a reminder of what 84 pounds looks like (my high of 303 to my current 219), so for posterity sake here's a comparison picture. (Who is that girl!?) You have made progress. It is worth the battle. You will get to a goal of being under 200 pounds again. Just keeping going. You still have important work to do.

Took a Calorie Vacation

Every once in a while my weight loss just stalls out. I think I have been on track every day with calories for about 3 weeks and I finally needed a free-for-all day. So today I threw caution to the wind and ate pretty much whatever I wanted without regard for calories. Sometimes that jump starts my weight loss again. So I will get back on it tomorrow, but for today I went wild.Scale was at 219 today. It's been hovering between 218-219 for quite some time. I am ready to see it move down a little more again. One day at a time!

Abdominal Pain Again

I had another episode of abdominal pain last night, that was two days in a row--not good. Could it really be my gall bladder or is there something else going on? I am concerned about my band. Anytime you have a mechanical device implanted in you there is always a chance for something to go awry. Well, the pain is gone this morning. I feel achy but not in pain. The fact that it subsides, makes me think that it is not band related, because if it was the pain would remain. Anyway, it was a horrible night and I didn't sleep well. I am taking the morning off from work, hoping to catch up on a little sleep. I just didn't feel up to getting ready this morning. Ugh!

Ugh...Monday

Well, for those of you who tuned in yesterday...I did go for a walk and "earned" that delicious cupcake. But in typical karma fashion, I think that cupcake may also have set off another gallbladder attack! (Well, I'm not sure if the two were related, but it sure felt like my body was punishing me.)

So last night, shortly after supper (which included the cupcake--but also stayed within my daily calorie goals) I started feeling the pain around 6 PM. Ooooohhhh it hurts so much! The horrible pain lasted for about an hour, then the dull ache lasted until I went to bed finally a little after 10. But before the night was over I dealt with awful nausea and some dry heaves. As a bandster I always get so afraid of violent vomiting or dry heaves, just certain that my band will slip! Ugh.

So today my whole body aches from the pain and the dry heaves. My abdominal muscles are so sore. I just have this overall feeling of yuckyness. What a great way to start a Monday. Thankfully, I have gallbladder surgery scheduled for May 7, and hopefully that will take care of that.

If there is one bright spot in my day, it is that the scale finally gave me a new number...218. Took a long time to earn that one.

Soooo Feeling Like a Piece of Cake

No I don't mean, that things are easy...like a piece of cake...I truly mean I want a sugary, frosting laden piece of cake. Specifically the white cupcake with a 1/2 cup of frosting on top that my grocery store sells from the bakery department. I am even willing to give up my supper calories for it. But I am also trying to convince myself that I must walk, not drive to the grocery store. Which is a two mile round trip walk. So will I get the gumption to walk to the store on this beautifully sunshiny day? And once  I get there, will I actually buy and eat the cupcake? Hmmm. Or will I continue to sit my ass in my recliner? Or is there another scenario here that is more sensible. Oh the battles of mind over matter.

Better Day Today

I did much better with eating today. Decided to have taco night for supper and it want down pretty well. I tried to really watch my chewing and take a break between bites. The other thing I did well today and the past few days is to drink between meals and try to stay well hydrated. Feeling much better about the day. Hope to wake up in time for water aerobics tomorrow morning.

Oh Barf!

Darn it, I overdid it tonight. Apparently the beans I choose for supper were just a little too thick and sticky. Anyway, I slimed, then tossed my cookies. So it begs the question again...am I too tight or was I just not paying attention? Hmmm...I am still trying to answer that question. I was beginning to appreciate the tightness and feeling restriction again and watching the scale either go down or at least hold steady. I'm torn. The green zone is such a fickle little spot.

Things I Knew But Forgot...Or Ignored

It was very helpful to go to the Back to Basics session offered by my docs office for weight loss surgery patients who were gaining, felt stuck or just needed an update. There were about 15 people there, both lapbanders and gastric bypass patients. Some had surgery years ago and other were relatively recent. It was interesting to hear their stories, get ideas and share experiences with them.

My PA who does my fills, an RN and an RD spoke to the group and they all had great advice. It wasn't necessarily new information to me but it was certainly things I had forgotten or had just plain ignored for a while. It was all things that I need to recommit to, and ways to use my tool better. They also reminded us that we had surgery on our stomachs...not our brains and that is a big factor. It is a constant, daily choice we have to make to eat healthy and exercise.

So here were a few of the tidbits I was reminded of again (and where I can make changes):

• 3 meals, no snacking - This really always did work best for me. Not to say that there wasn't an occasional snack, but when I was doing my best at weight loss I stuck religiously to the three meals a day rule. I have been snacking constantly lately, and it has been high calorie food with little nutritional value. If I really need a snack I need to look for healthy choices. Each thing I eat, I should ask the question...what does eating this provide or is it empty calories?
• No liquids with meals and waiting 1/2 hour before and after - Again, this was a successful method for me. Lately I had been having liquid with almost all of my meals. It sure helps those calories slide on through and then I felt hungry later and went in search for snacks. That needs to end.
• Planning Your Plate - Using a small salad plate or small bowls to help you with appropriate portion sizes. Planning to have your plate divided in three: 1/3 protein, 1/3 fruits or veggies and 1/3 carbs/starches and eating them in that order...protein first, then fruits and veggies and saving carbs for last. I was really cheating on this rule.
• Eating Slowly and Chewing Well - This is a must when I am at a good restriction level. It is a deliberate action or chewing food down to the consistency of applesauce. Meals should take about 20-25 minutes to eat to allow your brain to feel the satiety feeling. I was wolfing food down and looking for the next thing to eat.
• Listening to Your Band - Being aware of the soft stop feeling and STOPPING! I don't know how many times I just had one, two or three more bites and then ended up sliming, barfing and being miserable because I overate. Knowing the difference between full and satisfied is so important. I need to be more deliberate.

All in all, the things I heard were not rocket science and it was things I already knew but I needed a good reminder. These are MY rules, I know everyone else is different. I just know that I was successful when I followed these. I need to start living like I have a lapband again.