Thank You Scale!

Wow, I don't know what happened over night,  but the scale said 200 this morning! What the heck. I will never understand the amount of change the human body can go through in such a short amount of time. Anyway, I will take the new number and hope it sticks. It helps motivate me to eat right and exercise, cause I don't want to undo the movement downward. Here's to sticking to the right things.

202 and Holding

Well, the scale is finally headed downward, not by much but a little as it is back down to 202. Not sure when I will see onederland again, but I hope it will come around again. I have been trying to walk a little more, but I am still struggling a bit with my calorie intake. I know I could do better. This week my downfall was several meals out with Hottie in a Uniform and cake and ice cream in the break room at work. Ugh! So many pitfalls. My pants feel tight, so I know I need to do something to kick my weigh loss in gear again. If I could just get my life a little more normal I would be able to concentrate on it a little better. Same struggle...different day.

Big Sweaty Walk

Went for a big sweaty walk in the hot weather today. Felt good to sweat. I am trying hard to squeeze in more exercise, but it is so hard to get motivated. Scale said 204 this morning. I so want to be back in onederland, but I just can't seem to find it again. Eating is still a bit of a chore, takes about 45 minutes to get down the bare minimum. Still trying to eat normal foods versus going to soft stuff. If I am careful I can still tolerate it. Hope this month goes quickly and and can get back to normal after my port revision.

Sliming At Every Meal

I am sliming at nearly every meal! Ugh, this is gonna be a long month. Getting an adjustment before my port revision surgery is just not feasible. I can avoid the sliming by going super, super slow, but I am having trouble with that. I am trying to eat good foods, instead of relying on smooth sliders, but I am to the point that I may have to switch to things like soup and avoid solid all together. I am afraid I am going to irritate my band area so much that will cause additional trouble. This sucks, but there is not much else I can do except wait it out because of my personal circumstances. Hope the month goes by quickly!

Acid Reflux Sucks!

Yep, I'm way too tight and suffering from crappy acid reflux every time I eat. My surgeon's office suggested that I could get an adjustment before my port revision surgery. But I said I would wait. I didn't want an extra 500 mile round trip this month. So now I have to deal with it, but it's not going to be pleasant. I might have to find some acid reducer meds to tide me over for a while. I had been doing so good for so long with my lapband, now all the sudden there are these minor little hiccups that need taking care of. I still think that lapband is the best thing that I ever did for myself, I suppose a few of these issues are just part of the lifetime of maintenance that I will have to take care of once in a while.

Port Revision Surgery Scheduled

Well, I got the word back from my surgeon's office that my insurance was approved and I could schedule my port revision to fix my flipped port. First time I could get in was August 9. It's a same day surgery, so hopefully it will be quick and easy. The nurse said that they use a new technique, adding mesh underneath the port and they attach it all together. That is supposed to prevent flips from happening, or at least being less likely to happen. Hope things go well. In talking to the nurse, Aurie, we also determined that I might be too tight. I have been having to eat super slow, I have sliming and stuck episodes at nearly every meal, eating has become a chore and I am having some major acid reflux. So we tweaked a little too far. I said I could handle it for a month, and we would make the adjustment when I came down for surgery. Scale says 203, that's down a pound. Hope this supper tightness equals more pounds lost--I'm not holding my breath though. The pounds are sticking to me like glue.

Take Advantage of the Tightness!

OK, people it's time to get serious here. Since I am tighter than tight, this is an opportune time to kick things into gear again. I need a total mental overhaul when it comes to losing weight. After 6 months with no adjustments and restriction that was slowly starting to disappear, added to a tumultuous time in my life I totally got off track with weight loss. I got comfortable, I took a break and that was ok...for a while. I think it was ok to test the waters of living "normally", without giving much thought to my band. That would be all fine and good except for the fact that I really haven't met my all time goals for myself. I want to lose more and get comfortably below 200 pounds.

Here are some lessons learned:

1. If you don't PAY ATTENTION to what you put in your mouth, you will gain weight.
2. EXERCISE is a huge key to losing weight. Eating habits are a good start but exercise is the one-two punch.
3. I still have EMOTIONAL EATING issues. They may never go away.
4. The band only works when  it is tuned in to feeling the RESTRICTION, a little discomfort is a good thing.
5. I need to get BACK TO BASICS; proteins first, measuring food portions if needed, chew-chew-chew, using a food diary if I need to, and moving my body.

So while I can feel my lapband, I need to add in the other elements that I know lead to successful weight loss. One of them that I have been really lax at has included blogging. Cause you know that blogging means accountability, and I was avoiding that lately. This isn't the first time and it won't be the last time...let's start over again.

So today, thanks to my band I ate a small portion of food and I stopped eating when I felt the fullness. I went for a 1/2 hour walk at lunchtime and I hope to go for a walk tonight. You go girl! Let's see that scale move in the right direction.

July Progress Picture

Thought it was time for another one of these. Not much for visible change, but here it is for posterity's sake. This me at 204 pounds.

Holy Restriction Batman!

My, oh my, am I tight. I am finding that I am having to relearn EVERYTHING about my band again. Today I piled on a plate of 4th of July fixins; brat (minus the bun of course), potato salad, potato chips and dip and watermelon. I ended up being able to eat two spoons full of potato salad, about 2/3 of the brat, about 15 potato chips and 3 bites of watermelon. That took me 40 minutes to eat and I threw away so much food and it left me aching. I need to retrain my brain again as to what volume of food I can handle.

My first inclination is to say I am WAY TOO tight, but I think my bariatric docs would say..."um that's exactly how the band is supposed to be working!" It's like learning to walk again. I had been slowly adding more and more food and now all the sudden I am back to feeling like I am newly banded. So when is that going to translate into pounds off the scale??? Soon I hope!

I haven't checked in for quite a while, the scale this morning says 204. I have gained back a little weight, after hitting a low of 197. So I need to battle back and get rid of those 7 pounds. But in the big picture of things, life is good. Hottie in a uniform and I are still progressing slowly. That is certainly a bright spot in my life right now. I am mostly settled into my temporary "studio apartment" at my brother's house and I think I have my work situation sorta figured out. So life is getting a little better all the time. Still not perfectly settled, but for now things are starting to feel "normal" again.

Port Flipped! Oh No!

Seriously, when it rains it pours in my life. As they say,  bad things come in threes--perhaps I am done now! I was at my docs office to get a fill and it was not the usual PA Kristin, since she was on maternity leave. So it was a CNP, named Jenni. I was begining to wonder if she knew what she was doing as she was struggling to get the needle in the port. It was starting to get a little uncomfortable and she was trying all sorts of methods. She finally came to the conclusion that my port had flipped, so off to flouroscopy we went and she confirmed that is what had happened. Damn! Only good thing was that they did manage to give me the fill after some manipulation of my port.

So now my surgeon's office is going to call me to schedule a port revision. Ugh! Has anyone had this happen to them? What can I expect? Help!

Face Comparison Pics

Been a while since I did one of these, so I thought I woudl do a side by side face comparison. There is about 100 pounds difference in these two photos from 2008 to 2011. Who is that girl? I think I need to shape/pluck my eyebrows a bit. LOL

A Big Old Plateau

Well, my weight loss has come to a standstill. I have watched the same 4-5 pounds go round and round the scale over the last two months. But I can't say I have helped it much. I have an appointment scheduled for June 16. Not sure if I need a fill or maybe just a pep talk? I have been feeling so tight in the morning, but able to eat large volumes of food at other times of the day. Now a new symptom of of acid reflux has kinda showed up. I would say that I have been abusing my band a little lately, asking it to stretch farther than it should. Right now I am fighting a mental battle more than anything, and I am not sure how to break that routine.

Life is still chaotic for me. Some good, some bad but I am trying to just take one day at a time. Hottie in a Uniform and I are making slow and steady progress, I have a job interview this week and I am starting to move some of my stuff to my temporary home at my brother's house. Life will settle down and then perhaps I can concentrate better on weight loss. So maybe right now I need to just hang on and try to stick within about a 5 pound range of this new set point of 200 pounds. I have still made great progress, my life is so much better, so I have to remember that. I will find my focus again when the time is right.

Gain for the Month

Well, I gained for the second month in the row. The scale went from 199 to 202. It's been a challenging couple of months and I know exactly how I gained those pounds back. It's not rocket science. Ice cream, potato chips, cheeseburgers, onion rings, M&M's, Hot Tamales and liquor. That's how you gain 3 pounds back. Ugh! I know my portion sizes are out of control and my food choices have been less than stellar. Exercise has been non-existent. These are all the steps you take to gain weight. I've got that figured out.

I was hesitant to get a fill because I have been so tight in the morning, but I realize that my unencumbered eating the rest of the day has got to stop. So I decided to take a chance on getting filled--worst case scenario I suppose I need to get unfilled and tweak things the opposite direction. But the fact that I was able to stuff down a bacon cheese burger with half the bun and most of breaded onion rings with 3 mixed drinks last Friday night tells me that I can eat way too much. So I have an appointment for a fill on June 16. In the mean time hopefully I can try to behave myself. What a battle!

Struggling a Bit

Well, the scale reads 202 this morning. Better than it was a few days ago, but still higher than a month ago. I had seen 197 once...ahhhh, if only I could get back there. The weather has not been cooperating with walking outside (yeah, I know that is no excuse). I have been addicted to ice cream and potato chips lately. I just feel out of whack and I can't seem to get motivated. I have been avoiding getting a fill because I am so darn tight in the morning, but I realize now that the volume and types of food I can eat later in the day defenitely point to needing a little tweak. I haven't had a fill since November, so that has been a good long stretch. So this week I plan to call for an appointment.

I realize that my band did not miraculously change my relationship with food. I still struggle every day with good choices. I don't want this little slip to turn into a big problem. I need to keep the big picture in mind, I have made great progress so far--even with a gain, I still have lost a total of 101 pounds. I will see onederland again, I just need to refocus. Life will settle down eventually and I can concentrate on me again.

When It Rains, It Pours

OK, so last month I lost my job. I have gained about 5 pounds and lost onederland. Now today, out of the blue I got a call from a realtor who was representing my landlord. She called to tell me they are selling all their rental properties, my house included. So now not only am I jobless I will soon be homeless. Are you freaking kidding me? Oh my.

I had started on the 4 day pouch test this morning, and got through lunch but when my day fell apart after the phone call from the realtor I said screw it. Anyway, it turned out OK. I had supper with Hottie in a Uniform and he let me vent for a while. We are going on a weekend trip together next weekend. I am so excited...and a little freaked out too. LOL.