Reflections

Though it would be good to remind myself of the battles I have won. Sometimes I really struggle with seeing the big picture. It is so easy to get stuck on the little stuff and not to be able to really appreciate progress even when it is right there. So I am doing a little inventory here, just to remind myself of my successes. What's changed to make my life better in the last 10 months:

• Down 50 pounds
• Pant size from 30 to 22
• Shirt size from 4x to 2x
• Fit better in chairs and booths
• Better stamina/energy
• Better eating habits
• Better health screening numbers (cholesterol, BP, etc.)
• Lowered BMI by over 6 points
• No more swollen ankles and acid reflux
• Crossing my legs is much easier

These are just a few things that are better. The one thing that I think I need to work on the most is my mental attitude about all of this. I can honestly say that the physical part of weight loss is not the hard part...it is the emotional and mental part that is the toughest for me. Always a work in progress.

Hello 50!

My scale gave me a wonderful present this morning! I was so happy to look down and see 253...I am officially down 50 pounds since I have started this little weight loss trek. It's been a long time since I have seen this weight and the thought of being in the 240's soon makes me giddy. For so long the scale only went one direction...UP and it is so nice to see it going down instead. The last time I was near the 250's was in 2006 when I managed to walk off 45 pounds, but the lowest I saw then (before I managed to gain ALL of that back and more) was 255. I feel like I have broken a little lifetime plateau here, and if I can get into the 240's that will really cement things.

I was doing an event at work this past Sunday and I was wearing my favorite new skinny jeans and I was so surprised to see myself in pictures. I hadn't really seen the progress I had made until I saw myself in relationship to other people's sizes. It's weird how it takes a while for your brain to catch up with the rest of you. (I tried to add the photo but blogger is being difficult today, so I will try to add it later.)

Just One To Go!

New number on the scale today, 254. I must say they are slow but steady. I am just one little pound away from my first fifty pounds. The pounds are coming off kinda slowly, but I am still losing and that is all that matters. So another successful Saturday weigh-in day. I would love to shed that last pound before the end of the month.

I am feeling more restriction, I probably have 2-3 small episodes a week when I know I can really feel my band. I haven't gotten stuck, but I can really feel when I need to slow down and chew, take a few deep breaths and let the sensation pass. There aren't many foods I won't try, and most of them go down pretty well as long as I remember to chew.

New Pictures

Thought it might be time for a photo update, so here's a comparison photo from my high of 303 to my current weight of 255. My hair looks like crap. I have been growing it out, but decided that is way too high maintenance for me, so tomorrow I am chopping it off! My face looks so different to me, in fact I can almost see a resemblance to my sister, which I have never really seen before, odd. Anyway, I am still holding steady at 255, just waiting for the scale to give up those final 2 pounds before the 50 pound milestone. I can also definitely tell that I am losing my butt, which is a good thing. Just keep making progress! :)

Walk Away the Pounds DVD

Since the weather was a bit chilly today I decided to get out my Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds DVD. I forget what a workout that is and and I only did the 1 mile walk tonight! Really gets the heart rate up and I felt some muscles tonight in my thighs I hadn't felt in a while. I need to start using that more often. It's a good workout.

I have been really trying to eat right this week, taking the time to measure and weigh stuff. I have been craving sweets lately, which is rather unlike me--I am much more of a savory snacker. I have been eating sugar free Lifesavers like they are going out of style. Otherwise, I am still waiting for the scale to inch down just a little more.

Feeling Good Today

I am feeling good today...some days that's quite a chore...but today is good. The weather has improved my mood greatly. It is so nice to be able to step outside and go for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine. I walked for 30 minutes today and it felt good. The bottoms of my soles hurt a bit. I am thinking maybe a new pair of shoes might help. Perhaps that could be my 50 pound reward. We'll see.

I have been reading a few other blogs lately and really thinking about what an effort it takes to change who you are. I know that wearing this fat suit for a good portion of my youth and all of my adult years so far has had a negative impact on me...more than I care to admit sometimes. I don't think I could ever have guessed the amount of head work I would have to do along with the body work. Surgery is such a small piece of the puzzle. I think only my fellow lap banders can understand that.

New Number!

Well, here we are on Saturday my semi-official weigh-in day. Today's number was 255. Yippee! I am just 2 pounds away from the big five-oh, for a total of 48 pounds lost. Total for this month so far is 5 pounds, a definite improvement from Feburary and I still have about 10 days to inch that number down just a bit more. Thinking about putting my shoes on and heading out the door for a nice walk today.

Last night I was at a pot luck supper for my dart league and I was pleased to survive the potluck, eating a minimum number of calories. Pot lucks can be such a pitfall, you can overeat without even thinking about it. I made a couple of good choices last night, first one is that I had two choices of Styrofoam plates; a normal sized round one and one of those big multi section rectangle ones. So step one, grab the smaller plate. Step two, try to choose the items that have the most nutrition first, then fill in the other spots with just a taste to satisfy me. Step three, don't go back for seconds.

I find that one of my new hobbies is to watch other people eat, ha ha! It was amazing last night to watch people fill up their large plates once, twice and maybe even for a third time. Of course there was also beer and drinks, so that could add several hundred more calories for the night. So I survived the pot luck and had a great night throwing darts to boot. I threw my first hat trick (3 bulls eye's in a row) and my partner and I won the tournament and shared the $36 prize for first place. A good night all around. :)

Sunshine!

I saw a big glowing yellow ball in the sky, something I haven't seen in weeks! It was the sun! I need more days like today. I went for a wonderful walk just before sunset, it felt good to get out and get some exercise. I feel so good once I am out there, but it is still a struggle to get myself out of my recliner some days. I hope that more sunny days means more walking and more pounds off the scale.

I am feeling pretty good restriction from my recent fill. In fact it really makes me stop and chew well as my band has been reminding me that not just anything will slide down. It's not too much, for now it's just enough. Hope that feeling sticks for a little while.

Another NSV and a Scale Victory

I bought a new pair of jeans the other day, a cool looking dark wash with a little bit of a boot cut, very flattering on me. You know one of those pairs of jeans you just love wearing and feel like a million bucks in them. Drum roll please...they were a size 22! I have not worn a size 22 for probably 2 decades. I don't even know when. So right now in my closet I have a pants that range in size from 30, 28, 26, 24 and now the new 22's. Depending on the pants, I am mostly wearing 24's, but I have a few smaller 26's that fit still. There is such a huge difference between the fit on each pair. But I am so excited to be in the 22's.
Also worth celebrating is a new number on the scale this morning, I saw 256. Woo hoo! It's been a real struggle on the scale lately and I finally feel like I am gaining just a little bit of momentum again.

NSV

Oh yeah, one more thing to report...I had a funny NSV while driving to my Dr.'s appointment. I spent several long hours in the car driving and I realized that it wasn't very comfortable holding the steering wheel, and I realized that I felt too far back in my seat. So my NSV is that I have lost enough of my belly to move the driver's seat up. I am taking up less space than I used to! Woo hoo!

2nd Fill

Well what an adventure it was to get my second fill. I was 2/3rds of the way to my Dr.'s appointment which is about 5 hours away when Dr. O'Brien's nurse called to say he was stuck in Denver so they would have to reschedule. Ugh! So I called in a favor from a friend and was able to stay overnight with her. I had to take an extra day if work off and I wasn't prepared to stay an extra day so I had to go buy some new clothes. The trip home was awful, cars in the ditch, icy roads and to top it all off I got a flat tire. I had to stop at a rest area, change the tire in the rain and snow and then once I had the donut on I headed to the next town. $520 later I have 4 new tires and new brake pads. Not exactly what I had planned on.

I now have 3 cc's in my band. Apparently I had 1 cc at surgery which I was unaware of. Then of course I had one put in, in February and then 1 today. So I am hoping I start to feel some good restriction. My next fill is scheduled for May, about 8 weeks out but I can call and move it up if I feel the need to. According to the Dr.'s scale I was only down 4 pounds since my last adjustment about 6 weeks ago. I am hoping for more progress. Otherwise, life is fine. I am trying to get out and walk more as the weather turns to Spring. Just pushing along.

Walking

I am trying hard to get back on track with exercise. I have not been motivated very much, so since the weather is finally starting to resemble a little hint of Spring I have been going for walks on my lunch hour. Once I am out there, I feel great and I love breathing in that fresh air and soaking up the sunshine. But it is soooooo hard to get motivated to go some days. I am trying.

I am getting fill number 2 next week and I need to do everything in my power to make the most of it. This is a long tough road.

March is A New Start

Well, it's been a while since I have updated here. Life's been a little crazy. February was full of ups and downs. Since I use the first of the month as my progress marker, I am disappointed to say that my weight today was 260. That means that for February I have a net loss of just one pound. Not what I was looking for, but March is a fresh start. I am trying to do a couple of things to get myself motivated to exercise and really keep track of my eating. Just need to refocus.

In related news, I took all of my reader's good advice and called my surgeon's office. I am scheduled for fill number 2 next Wednesday. I guess it will be up to me to choose when I need to adjust my band. I am anxious to tighten things up. Also found out that my surgeon is retiring and that by this fall I will need to transition my fills/adjustments to another doctor. Hope I find one I like and that can help me make the most of my band. Here's to progress in March!