I keep beating myself up for the latest failures, but I know that instead I should be keeping an eye on the big picture. Life is so much better than the 303 pounds I was at 3 years ago. Even at today's weight of 219 I know that I need to claim that and be proud of it. Instead I keep thinking about where I am NOT at. I want to be back to onederland, I want losing to be easy--like it was in the first year after banding. But I am afraid that glorious time has passed.
It is still a work in progress--and it may ALWAYS be. How do you stay motivated in the moment, remember the progress you have made and not beat yourself up for the setbacks. I don't know if I have an answer to that or not.
I guess I can look at the "failures" from a different perspective and give myself a little slack:
- I had a ROUGH year--one of the most tumultuous in my life with job changes, moving twice, new relationship, failed relationships and two surgeries. I think I am entitled to a small setback considering the stressful, emotional intense year I lived through.
- It was a SMALL setback not a big one. Yes I gained some weight back and fell into old habits, but I didn't regain all the weight. I only gained back about 25 and then I started to find my way again to fix it. Since refocusing, I have lost about 5 pounds, it's small but it's progress in the right direction.
- I KNOW WHAT TO DO when I fail. I pick myself up, I go back to the healthy habits that have worked in the past...exercise, food diary, blogging, regular band adjustments. It works.
"I made you to carry the weight of one day. Do not weigh yourself down with the years behind or the days ahead."
So my words to all of you banders out there today...be gentle with yourself...don't beat yourself up...remember to celebrate where you are right here, right now. Love yourself.