Monday, January 4, 2010

New Number and Learning

They've been coming just a bit slower, but saw a new number on the scale this morning, 268 pounds. That's a loss of 35 pounds since I started this whole journey this past summer and 9 since surgery almost 3 weeks ago, averaging 3 pounds a week. I have been enjoying the new food choices that the mushies phase allows. Today it was some yummy chicken salad and cottage cheese. Who knew that could be so darn enjoyable!

This past weekend I had this thought of "oh my gosh, what did I get myself into?" I think I was thinking too much. Thinking about every bite of food, being completely obsessed with chewing and even thinking ahead to my first fill. All the sudden I just felt overwhelmed by the choice I had made to have surgery. The thought passed, but it was just one of those moments where I realized that as long as I have my band, I will always be ultra aware of what I am eating--and I suppose that really is the point, isn't it? I think it was also the fact that I am eating so carefully as to avoid any PB's or getting stuck that I am having to overly think every decision of what I put into my mouth.

I was also feeling a little overwhelmed about food choices and grocery shopping. I feel like I am starting at square one, wiping the slate clean and everything I used to do has to change. The old stand-by's on the grocery list just won't work anymore. I guess all that information swimming around my brain just caught up to me as a moved to a new stage--pretty normal response I would guess. Learning a new life takes time and patience!


  1. First, Congrats on the new number! Second, I had the same feelings. I finally came to the conclusion that after weeks of being on a strict preop and postop diet I was getting sick of it. All the don't do this and don't eat that got to me. However, I remembered that the "diet" part ends.

    Once I got on to regular foods I knew that there would be a few things I can't eat (so I don't get stuck), but everything else will be up to me. It helped so much! I still have a few moments now and then - including shopping, but it isn't the same. Hopefully knowing that you are almost there will help with those awful feelings.

    I am sooo glad I got the band. I know that facing a long term diet using my own willpower would been too overwhelming and I probably would have failed already.

  2. Way to go! what a wonderful weight loss you have had.. this is going to sound weird, but I miss just being on liquids and shakes, no decisions, no temptations.. I think it is great to have all of the foods available, but I still have the temptation issue.. Continue your great work..

  3. Things will be better once you are able to have regular foods. Congrats on your weightloss, you are doing great!

  4. Thanks so much for the words of wisdom! So nice to know I am "normal". You're comments are spot on, TJ. I think I am just at that point that on a regular "diet" I would have failed, given up or grown tired of it, but Mr. Band says, "Nope, you can't quit now!" I can't say enough about what a mental process this is.

  5. Three pounds a week is fantastic! You will definitely have some great "after" pictures in your future!