219 & Listening to My Band

Saw 219 on the scale this morning which is so awesome. Thank goodness I am headed in the right direction. I realize that with my new tightness it is more important than ever to listen to my band...when it says I'm full, it really means it. I had gotten into the habit of cleaning up my plate again and I can't afford to do that. I think in my subconscious there is a "fear" that if I don't eat what I put on my plate I will be hungry later and so I feel the need to eat the portions I placed on the plate. But that's pretty stupid as I demonstrated to myself last night when I vomited, rather violently the last bits of ham and potato that I thought I could squeeze down my throat. Yeah, don't want to do that again.

Even this morning, my cereal bowl was telling me, just leave those last two or three spoonfuls, but I went for it anyway, and now I sit here sliming and uncomfortable. I need to get back that mental awareness of when my pouch is full and convince my brain that it is enough and it's time to stop. It had been so long since I felt a good green zone restriction, I think I forgot what it was like. I am glad to have found it again, now I just need to learn to live with it again.

Oh Sweet Restriction!

It is taking me a long time to eat! Yea!!! Took a good 25-30 minutes to slowly chew and eat my supper tonight, a good sign that my band is at a good restriction level. Feeling the green zone again is awesome. Tonight I went to my usual water aerobics and then I also stayed for water volleyball. So I had a great workout today. way under on my calories for the day, I even have room for a low cal snack later tonight.

New Number!

Oh my, it has been a long time since I have been able to say that! I didn't believe the scale this morning, so I stepped on it 3 seperate times, and each time it came up with 220. I can't believe how much weight will fluctuate in one week. But I will take it. I have been keeping my food diary and trying to really watch my calories again. So glad for restriction, it makes life so much easier. I need to keep my focus.

Feeling Better

Feeling slightly better about the scale today, as it is down to 223. Much better than the numbers I saw a week or two ago. I have been very good about keeping my food diary. Easter weekend was a bit out of control, but it is back to the grindstone today, as I was within about 50 calories of my daily goal. I also was good about drinking my water today. Was traveling for work today so I didn't get in my exercise today, but I will get back to it tomorrow.

Having a gall bladder surgery consultation next week and I will also be attending a "back to basics" course for lapbanders. I am feeling great restriction right now, it's nice to know that I have a lapband again.

Did pretty good this week, following my calorie intake on My Fitness Pal. Today was the only day that I went over my calories. I'm OK with that, just need to get back on track again tomorrow. I am feeling good restriction and that helps a lot. I definitely can't just sit there and mindlessly stuff my face like I did a week ago. I hope i can keep that feeling and help re-learn what it feels like to be in the green zone. It's been a long time since I have felt it.

Didn't do great on exercise today, it was windy outside so walking wasn't much of an option. Could have gone to the Y, but I guess I just needed a break today. Back on the horse tomorrow with water aerobics at 9:00 AM.

Thank You Restriction!!!

What a difference a new mind set and some restriction makes. Today I finally started eating like I had a lapband again. A small, salad size plate, measured servings and I am half way through and feeling full. Slow eating, taking a full 30 minutes to eat and a good amount of protein. That's how you lose weight! Keep it up girl. Now, this afternoon I will be drinking lots of water and I have a local snack figured out if I get the hungries. You know how to do this...now the only thing to do is repeat, repeat, repeat!

For later today, I have water aerobics at 5:30 and I plan on getting on my new shoes and new workout gear and taking a walk in the beautiful sunshine.

Afternoon Update...Took a sugar free chocolate pudding break---such a better option than my previous, reach for a candy bar break. Only 70 calories versus 250 or more. Gotta be smart!!

I'm Ready to be a Loser Again

It's time to really get serious about things here. I was at my docs office for a fill yesterday so my band is nice and tight and ready to be used in the right way. I am scheduled to go to a "Back on Track" session at my docs office in about two weeks and I am hoping it will help me really get serious about things. I always love getting a fill because it feels like a clean slate to start with.

My goal is to track my food intake on My Fitness Pal on my smartphone for 2 weeks...no exceptions!!! I am going to continue going to water aerobics and I am going to add in walking this week too. It's time to concentrate on me. I want to see onederland again. I will get there.

Testing my posting capabilities with my Blackberry...

TIme to Turn the Page...

Well, I have had what is perhaps the most tumultuous year of my life and I feel like it is time for me to turn the page on the past and get my life in order again. Since April of last year I have been through job loss, job interviews, moving twice, port revision surgery, falling in love, an engagement, a broken engagement, the end of a relationship, going back to therapy, increasing my antidepressant dosage and the most recent in my line of not so lucky stuff is dealing with gall stones. Well, I am tired of the path I am on and I refuse to let my life take me in that direction anymore. I see now that I am stong enough to withstand just about anything. 

So here's the problem...or perhaps let's call it a challenge instead...I have gained back about 25 pounds this past year. It is a number I am not proud of and I know that I can do better for myself. I have a lapband adjustment scheduled for next week, I have a brand new pair of walking shoes and a membership at the Y. I just download the newest calorie tracking app to my smart phone and I am ready to tackle those 25 pounds so that I can once again be counted among the people who live in onederland. It's time to find me again.

ADD, Gall Bladder and LIfe

I totally feel like I have ADD when it comes to taking care of myself. I can concentrate for about a minute and then I totally lose my focus. My personal life is handing me some unexpected challenges and it is affecting my eating, exercising, sleeping and nearly every part of my life. It's too hard to concentrate on this right now.

To make things worse, I think I have started to have occasional gall bladder attacks. I have incredible pain for 20-30 minutes at a time, typically after a fatty meal---yeah I know, I shouldn't be eating those types of things that would trigger an attack.

Ugh. I am feeling so cruddy right now.

I'm So ADD...There's a Squirrel!

I'm so A.D.D when it comes to my weight loss focus lately. So easily distracted. This weekend was a total calorie fest. Pizza, cake, ice cream...ugh. Today I tried to get back to normal, but it's tough. I did go to Aqua Power at the Y tonight, and it was a heck of a cardio workout. Not sure it will undo the calories of the weekend but at least a moved a little bit. The scale is all over the place again, I think it was 216 this morning. Well, all I can do is keep trying.

Keep on Going

Scale was very generous this morning and gave me a 213! I must have an incredible amount of water weight right now, because that is a 5 pound swing in a week. Incredible. No wonder the scale drives us crazy. I know everyone has different theories on whether they weigh every day or not. I have always been a morning, naked, right before I take a shower weigher. I would much rather be aware of the day to day fluctuations rather than be shocked once a week. Just helps me feel more in touch with my body. Another good start to the day.

Awesome Day!

I went to Aqua Power at the Y tonight, not as much cardio as last time but a lot of toning. Feel so awesome when I am done. Came home and rounded out the days meals with some healthy fixins, even have about 200 calories left for a little snack later. Just gotta keep the streak going!

Moving Up and Down

Scale gave me 214 this morning. I don't really trust it just yet, it is fluctuating way too much. But at least it is headed downward even if it is only temporary. I want to see onederland again. I was so focused a year ago. I need to continue doing what I am doing and string enough days of good choices together to see some progress. It is so important to track my food and blog. I need to be here.

Oh the Fluctuations!

Scale today said 216. I am headed to Zumba tonight. Still keeping my food diary and doing well on caloric intake. No snacking either! You can do this...one day at a time...it will start to add up to progress. You go girl!