New Number!

Hello 261! I love it when the scale is cooperating! Saw a glimpse of 261 this morning, not sure if it's ready to stick yet, but it was a joy to see it. Must be doing something right.

From Triple Chin to Double Chin

I noticed an odd thing today. Have you ever had people say, "oh I can see you've lost weight, I can see it in your face." I always thought that was a weird thing to say, why would you see the change in my face but not anywhere else? Anyway, I was updating my profile picture today and realized that my face really has changed through my 40+ pound weight loss so far. Funny thing, I guess I didn't see it, but I went from having a triple chin to just a plain old double chin! So here's an odd NSV, a thinner looking face. (I'm growing my hair out, so that looks different too--not good, but different, it's hard to be patient in this "it's not short but it's not long phase") The picture on the left is 303 in June 2009, the one on the right is 262 in January 2010.

New Number...A Quickie!

Well, I had to fight like crazy a pound ago, now all the sudden I find that I lost another. I love those quickie pounds. Down to 262, getting awfully close to the 250's. That will be awesome. Ah...the ups and downs of weight loss. You just don't know what your body is up to sometimes. I am anxious to be able to get to my first fill, after this week's postponement. So ready for some restriction. Life is good.

Chocolate!!!

Oh my, today was such a day. I could not stop my craving for some chocolate. It was brutal. I just absolutely could not fight it. So in the end I caved and had half of a Hershey Bar with Almonds. I went over my calorie goal for the day by 1 calorie. I figured I could live with that. I have been so good and I just needed a little break. At least I can say I took a break, but did it within reason. I didn't go hog wild, I just relaxed a bit. The only thing that gets me with that is that so often in the past it didn't take much to get on that slippery slope of saying..."it's just one chocolate bar..." or whatever the excuse may be. I am fighting such a mental battle lately and I am not really sure why. That may be a topic for therapy this week.

I am watching Biggest Loser tonight, one of my favorite shows. If only weight loss could happen like that in real life. If the only job I had was working out and eating right I suppose it would. But alas, I have a real life in the real world and some days you just need a piece of chocolate!

Aww Phooey!

Well, a blizzard warning, no travel advisories and closed interstates are keeping me from getting my band filled. :( I had to cancel my appointments and reschedule them for next week. I am really tired of winter. Well, better safe than sorry. The 25 mile drive home from work was awful, so I suppose I am glad I am not on the road. Hopefully next week will be better. Just disappointing.

40...Finally!!

Woohoo! Finally saw the magic number on the scale this morning. Boy this one was hard! I am officially down 40 pounds from my high of 303 this past summer. That's 22 since the start of my pre-op diet and 14 since surgery. While sometimes I wish it was going a little faster, I am pleased that it just continues to head in the right direction. Tomorrow is my first fill and boy am I ready. Another milestone...hope the next ones keep on coming.

So Slow!!!

The pounds are coming off sooooo slow lately. I am definitely ready for a fill. I am packing my bags tonight so that I can leave from work tomorrow and travel down the road for my appointment on Tuesday. I meet in the morning with the dietitians. That should be interesting, I am wondering if they will think I am on the right track or not. Then I see my surgeon ( or his staff) in the afternoon for my first fill. I am so ready to have some restriction again.

I am finding this a little hard lately. This is pretty normal for me, I tend to lose my focus sometimes. Especially if I am not seeing immediate results. That's when in the past I often fell off the diet wagon. It just proves to me how much mental work this really takes. So in an effort to remind myself of my progress and give myself a little pep talk, here's a little list:

1. You have lost nearly 40 pounds!
2. Your BMI has been reduced by 5.5 points!
3. You are down 1-2 pants sizes.
4. You have more energy and stamina.
5. You have been great at following the rules!
6. You have tools you can use, be patient. Getting the fill this week will help!

So darn it, turn off the negative talk in your mind! There...hope that helps, lol!

Nothing New

Well, nothing new to report around here. I am waiting patiently for my fill next week. It is getting really tough to stick to my eating plans as I have little to no restriction. I am curious to see what Dr. O'Brien decides to give me, if he will be aggressive or will just give me a little to start off with. I have been doing pretty good with my eating. I am trying very hard to incorporate more fruits and vegetables into each meal. Overall, I am doing well and just waiting for that last pound to drop before I can claim 40 pounds lost.

New Number and an NSV!

Yippee! The scale moved today down to 264, and I am now just one little pound away from losing 40 pounds since my high of 303 this past summer. I might really have to fight for this one. Off the scale, I was pleased to squeeze into a pair of size 24 jeans that I wore when I was at my low of 255 in 2006. They are still a smidge tight, but they have spandex and that helps. So all in all, a great start to my week.

Must Be Time for a Fill

It must be getting close to needing a fill. I am feeling very little restriction and it is getting easier and easier to let the calories add up. Mind you, I am not going crazy, I am still under 1200 calories a day, but I have noticed a difference between what satisfied me 2-3 weeks ago versus what amounts satisfy me today. Good thing I have my first fill coming up next week, because I feel like I really need it. The scale has really slowed down too. So I hope that tightening up the old band will improve things again.

Feeling Hungry

For the first time in a long time I have been feeling hungry in the morning. This morning my stomach was growling so loud! I had a good breakfast of eggs and a banana, but for some reason it just wasn't enough to chase away the hungries. I just kept drinking my water and waited for it to pass. I managed to last until lunch time, but then I always feel like I am so starved that I probably eat too quickly. Hard to play this little game. I am struggling a bit on choosing foods for myself. I am trying to choose really healthy, nutritious stuff, but I am needing to find some good stuff that I really like, rather than stuff I eat and it fills my belly. I am looking for a good meet in the middle here, good food that's good for me.

Gurgling and Golf Balls

I'm gurgling today. I think my eyes may have been a little bigger than my stomach at lunch today. I know when my band is working because I can literally feel a golf ball sized hard spot in my upper abdomen. I know the food is supposed to sit there for a while, but today it feels like it's sitting there for a particularly long time. I don't feel stuck, but just full. It's not really uncomfortable, but I'm waiting for it to gurgle on down to my lower stomach.

All in all, things are going well. I am about 4 weeks out from surgery and I have been meticulous in following the eating guidelines. No pop, I only eat three meals a day with no snacking and I am getting good protein amounts every day. I have lost 12 pounds since surgery or about an average of 3 pounds per week. That's awesome, I really need to remember that...sometimes it seems to be going so slow, I have a real problem with patience, I want it all right now. I'm doing great, just need to keep it up.

Comparison Pictures December to January

You may need to click on these for a bigger image, but here are some comparison pictures from December to January. I can see a little change, and I know for sure I feel it in the ways the pants fit. There is quite a bit of wiggle room as shown in the next picture.
It isn't really visible just yet, but just wait a little longer and it will look even better. Just wanted to record the progress. I want to celebrate every little step along the way to keep me motivated. These pants are a size 30, and I fit into a 26 very comfortbly, so there is a huge difference. One day I hope to take a photo of these pants falling off me! I will get there!

New Number...But I'm Not Sure?

Ok, so the scale wouldn't move for a whole week, then I finally claimed a pound yesterday, to 267. Now today it seems as if I have skipped over a whole number down to 265. So at least I saw it...but I am just not sure I am ready to claim it? Aw, what the heck, I can at least say I saw a glimpse of it today. I guess I will wait and see if it sticks around LOL! Getting a little closer every day to 40 pounds lost since my high of 303 this past summer. I am feeling really good about things, I am really working hard to follow the rules and I am learning some brand new eating habits that I pray will stick with me for a lifetime. I am loving the Lap-Band life!

New Number and Watching Others

Well, the scale finally budged...down to 267 and it "only' took a week! But I have officially lost 10 pounds since surgery or an average of about 2.5 pounds per week. I have lost a total of 36 pounds since I started this process. That last pound took a lot of doing, but I finally dropped it. Yippee! I hope the rest aren't that stubborn! Had to be water weight, because it sure wasn't based on my calorie intake.

I had an interesting moment of clarity today. I was at a work meeting, where we had potluck for lunch. I did awesome, I had a small portion of meat and a small portion of green beans and I was done. In the mean time it gave me a chance to watch other people fill their plate, then fill it again and then go back for dessert. That would have been the old me, stuffing myself. Instead, it was good to know I choose a good portion size, got my protein and was able to walk away without drawing much attention to what I had on my plate. It was a great feeling to know I had the ability to get through that kind of situation.

Doing Some Cooking

I was working in the kitchen tonight pulling together some food to put in the fridge/freezer for next week. I am trying to plan ahead as much as I can and I am trying some new recipes. It's a little daunting. I am trying to make sure that I always have good choices available and lots of options in my pantry to throw meals together--something that I rarely did before, which made me make poor choices. It seems that side dishes are easy to come up with but a variety of good proteins leaves me a little perplexed. It's just a whole new world of choices and I am trying very hard to change my old ways of thinking about food. Might have to work on my chef skills!

Scale Won't Budge

I knew this would happen at some point, I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon. After several very successful weeks of losing pounds, the scale has decided to declare a mutiny against me. It has been stuck at 268 for days. Trying not to be frustrated, and I know that it will start moving again, but boy it sure does suck right now. I know it can't be calorie intake, so it has to be water retention and that will subside.

On a positive note, I have been enjoying moving through the mushies stage and I am so ready to start "real" foods next week. Although I still have fears about the dreaded PB's and getting stuck as I continue to add more substantial foods. It's like a time bomb waiting to go off, you don't know how or when, but you know at some point in the future it will happen.

Trying Some New Foods

I am inching closer to Phase 3 and decided to keep adding a few new foods every day. Today it was some smoked turkey breast. Went down just fine and it was so yummy to try some more substantial foods. Technically I don't start Phase 3 until next Tuesday, but I figured I am close enough. Burned some calories shoveling snow today. I am so sick of winter! 6 more inches of snow, yuk! My shoulder is on the mend thankfully and life is good.

My surgeon uses a video series called Emmi to show patients what to expect before and after surgery. I just received the link to the latest episode all about the fill or adjustments. Just a few weeks away and I will get my first fill.

First Trip to Chiropractor

Well, had my first trip to the chiropractor this morning. Shoulder feels better but also not better. I am home icing it today and hoping that a few days of rest will make a difference. I am also going back for a follow up on Friday. The snow is raging here today so I decided not to make the 25 mile commute to work this morning. So yippee! It's a snow day! I am watching TV in some comfy clothes and quite content to do nothing. My friend also let me know that there is a great clearance sale at the Cold Water Creek website! Shopping anyone?

Food on the Road & Watching Biggest Loser

Had to travel out of town today and it was the first time in over a month that I had to eat outside of my own little cocoon. Did pretty good, found some choices and at the end of the day I stayed within my calorie goals and met my protein goal too. Tonight I am watching the Biggest Loser season premiere, and so many of their stories are hitting close to home. I feel their pain and I know what it is like to regret letting yourself get to that point. So I am sure there will be a few Kleenexes used tonight while watching their stories unfold. On a side note, I am seeing a chiropractor tomorrow morning about my shoulder. Thought things were improving, but I hurt myself again this morning putting on my shirt, so I am hurting today. Never been to one, so this ought to be interesting. Hope it helps!

New Number and Learning

They've been coming just a bit slower, but saw a new number on the scale this morning, 268 pounds. That's a loss of 35 pounds since I started this whole journey this past summer and 9 since surgery almost 3 weeks ago, averaging 3 pounds a week. I have been enjoying the new food choices that the mushies phase allows. Today it was some yummy chicken salad and cottage cheese. Who knew that could be so darn enjoyable!

This past weekend I had this thought of "oh my gosh, what did I get myself into?" I think I was thinking too much. Thinking about every bite of food, being completely obsessed with chewing and even thinking ahead to my first fill. All the sudden I just felt overwhelmed by the choice I had made to have surgery. The thought passed, but it was just one of those moments where I realized that as long as I have my band, I will always be ultra aware of what I am eating--and I suppose that really is the point, isn't it? I think it was also the fact that I am eating so carefully as to avoid any PB's or getting stuck that I am having to overly think every decision of what I put into my mouth.

I was also feeling a little overwhelmed about food choices and grocery shopping. I feel like I am starting at square one, wiping the slate clean and everything I used to do has to change. The old stand-by's on the grocery list just won't work anymore. I guess all that information swimming around my brain just caught up to me as a moved to a new stage--pretty normal response I would guess. Learning a new life takes time and patience!

Mushies Are Going Well

I am getting a little more brave with my food choices. For a while there I was a little scared to try some things. I am getting better about chewing and making a very specific time for eating. I still have some aches and pains in my shoulder, not sure if it has anything to do with eating or not, just hope it goes away soon. Tried some refried beans today, those were a nice addition to the menu. Overall things are going well.

Shoulder Still Hurts

Well, I have been reading up on this whole shoulder pain thing, sounds like lots of lap band patients have had it, and often get it after fills too. I think I may go back to liquids for my evening meal just to see if clearing out my pouch makes a difference. I am also having computer issues today as my letter "e" key is not working very well. Very annoying! So I ordered a new laptop keyboard, should come in the mail in about a week. Hope that fixes things--I can't blog very well without an E!