Do you ever feel like you are still fat? I have been having some thoughts lately about not being "good enough". Good enough by whose standards? I don't know. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I would love to be in a relationship, still looking for Mr. Right. But I have this horrible feeling that I will never have that. I certainly wasn't a catch at 303 pounds and now 90 pounds lighter, I still don't feel like I will ever catch the attention of a guy. So in some respects I still feel exactly the same as the 303 pound me. I suppose if I was still in therapy I would be discussing this with my therapist, but since I gave that up I suppose I will have to sort out my thoughts here on the blog.
It may take a little extra time to gain back some of my self worth. I think I was living so miserably for so long that I didn't even realize how many of those feelings I was stuffing inside and not talking about. Now with every pound of fat that is gone I feel like I also have to rid myself of a pound of mental baggage that I have been carrying. Whew! That's hard work. I sure hope that one day my mind will catch up with my body. So tonight, even though I know I am 90 pounds lighter, I still have a few pounds of baggage to shed.