Projectile Sliming...A New Experience!

Ok kids, this might be a little TMI for some of you who are squeamish...if so stop reading now. Ok, for those of you that can handle it, I have to tell you about my experience today with projectile sliming. OMG! I was headed to a holiday party/work meeting this morning and I decided that I should have a healthy snack prior to getting there so that I would avoid eating some high calorie, low nutrient foods. So I am driving down the road and I start eating an apple. I'm starting to feel a little tight, but I figure the feeling will pass. I am chewing like a trooper, really giving the peeling what for. Then I feel the sliming start, well guess that's my last bite of apple, so I throw the rest out the window.

Then the sliming really kicked in. Then I was really feeling a PB coming on and then suddenly my body decided that I needed a combination cough/PB and suddenly I am driving down the road at 65 miles an hour and there is a ball of slime being projected out of my mouth! My hand was the only thing stoping a large ball of slime from covering the windshield. I was literally holding a handful of slime trying to drive, reach for a tissue...an empty cup...an empty water bottle...anything to contain this wad...literally, a cup full of oozing alien slime. Damn who cleaned out my car? What in the world can I spew into? Should I pull over? Damn too much traffic! Finally I found a Wal-Mart bag and I deposited my slime, hoping to heaven that there wasn't a hole in the bottom of the bag. Now, that I have finally put down the slime ball, I see a napkin stuffed between the seats. I grab it and attempt to wipe my hand off. Good grief, what is this stuff made of! Then I had to check the front of my jacket and sweater to make sure I had not slimed right down the front of myself. That would be interesting to explain at my meeting...sorry about the stain, I spit up this morning! Thank goodness there was no one else in the car with me, they would have been absolutely horrified by this event. Ah the life of a lap bander...note to self it may be time to start taking the peeling off your apples before you eat them.