Goodbye 2010!

Well, I suppose it is mandatory to write a year end post that sums up the year 2010, so here goes. Let's do the ABC's of me in 2010...

A - Adding exercise to my regular routine.

B - Blogging to measure my progress.

C - Cheryl became number one priority in my life.

D - Dreaming of reaching my goal weight.

E - Eating better foods that fuel my body.

F - Finding out who I am really am.

G - Getting to shop in the "normal" section of the store for clothes.

H - Having the ability to change my life.

I - I am finding my self worth.

J - Jogging on the treadmill.

K - Keeping my momentum and still losing weight.

L - Lexapro is a wonder drug! I love my happy meds.

M - Meeting a guy and having some "fun" (wink, wink, smile!)

N - New sizes in clothing is awesome.

O - Only I can change my life.

P - People in my life have been great cheerleaders to encourage me.

Q - Quit being so negative. (I still have my moments, but it's better!)

R - Really losing almost 100 pounds total!

S - Scale keeps changing all the time.

T- Therapy helped me sort things out.

U - Using all my skills and abilities to change my life.

V - Viewing life from a new perspective.

W - Wanting more from my life, and going after it.

X - eXamining the reasons I got to 303 pounds and getting rid of some baggage.

Y - Yes I can!

Z - Zipping up my size 18 pants and having room to spare.

So there it is, the ABC's of me for 2010. Wishing you health and happiness in 2011. I hope all your dreams come true!

Do You Ever...

Do you ever feel like you are still fat? I have been having some thoughts lately about not being "good enough". Good enough by whose standards? I don't know. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I would love to be in a relationship, still looking for Mr. Right. But I have this horrible feeling that I will never have that. I certainly wasn't a catch at 303 pounds and now 90 pounds lighter, I still don't feel like I will ever catch the attention of a guy. So in some respects I still feel exactly the same as the 303 pound me. I suppose if I was still in therapy I would be discussing this with my therapist, but since I gave that up I suppose I will have to sort out my thoughts here on the blog.

It may take a little extra time to gain back some of my self worth. I think I was living so miserably for so long that I didn't even realize how many of those feelings I was stuffing inside and not talking about. Now with every pound of fat that is gone I feel like I also have to rid myself of a pound of mental baggage that I have been carrying. Whew! That's hard work. I sure hope that one day my mind will catch up with my body. So tonight, even though I know I am 90 pounds lighter, I still have a few pounds of baggage to shed.

Things Are a Little Stalled

Well with the holidays, things with my weight loss are a little stalled. I saw 209, then it disappeared. For now I am sticking to 210 and I guess I can live with that. It's still a loss of 4 pounds for the month. I finally got back to the gym tonight had a good workout on the ellipticals, treadmill and the weights. It felt good to move again and try to work off some calories. Otherwise, there's very little going on in my life right now. Kind of in the winter doldrums, hopefully things will get a little more interesting in the new year.

The Eating Marathon is Over!

Well, another holiday behind us, and that hopefully means that the marathon of eating is done. Thankfully I didn't go too overboard this year, but I definitely ate more than a usual day and snacked on all sorts of goodies. Why are the holidays centered around food? The scale has fluctuated a little, it jumped back up to 210 this past week after staying at 209 for a while. Now I have to work on getting back to the oh's again. Ugh! Such a never ending battle. But I am trying to keep my perspective, I have made such progress this year, I can't let one little pound get me in a tizzy. It always amazes me how hard it is to lose a pound but it seems insanely easy to put it back on. It's feeding frenzy's like the last few days that make me think I will never be done battling my weight. It will always be something I have to think about. Thank God for my lap band, if that wasn't there I would still be a miserable 300 pounds. Instead I can be happy that I am a 210 pound work in progress.

Overheard at the Gym

Tonight at the gym there were three ladies who were barely working out...they spent more time talking than actually exercising. Of course they were all skinny and cute. I'm there sweating my ass off and huffing and puffing. Life is not fair. Anyway, as I am giving it my all on the ellipticals I couldn't help but overhear their conversation, and it made me laugh to hear them discussing the fact that one of them was recovering from her recent breast implant surgery. There was a little satisfaction in knowing that the people that I often "judge" as perfection--you know...thin, pretty and seemingly having it all are not so happy with themselves. Guess it just goes to show that we all have things we want to fix or change about ourselves and in the end it is not what the world thinks of us, but instead what we think of ourselves. I know that I am a work in progress and that's OK.

Bloated Whale

Finally made it back to the gym tonight. I was the only one there which is really unusual. Most of the time I have to work out with skinny beeatch with the tight, low cut shirt and about 3 guys with a total Napoleon complex--you know the type under 5' 7" and trying to build muscles to feel like a man. So the three Napoleon boys oogle low cut beeatch. Boy do I feel like chopped liver, LOL. So it was quite nice to have the place to myself. The other alternative is to go to the gym in the early morning and then I am with the wrinkled senior citizen set. Just can't win. So at least I had a nice workout.

I am feeling like a total bloated whale today, so I am almost afraid to look at the scale, 'cause I am guessing that for the next few days the scale is gonna be all over the place thanks to my lady hormones. Isn't that just an absolute joy to deal with? Can I hear an amen! Up until today I had been holding steady to 209, we will see what tomorrow's number will look like--just gotta keep perspective, that number is not real weight gain and it will hopefully right itself in a week or so.

Snow Shoveling Workout

Well, I didn't make it to the gym today but boy did I ever get a workout. I didn't get home until 10:00 PM tonight and knew that I had some shoveling to do. We got several inches of snow today and while I was gone to work the plows left a lovely 1 foot ridge of hard packed snow at the end of my driveway. So I spent an hour shoveling snow tonight. Neighbors probably thought I was crazy for shoveling so late. But I couldn't get my car in the driveway until I cleared things out. I didn't think I was ever going to get done. Now I am cold and worn out. But the calorie counter say that one hour of shoveling snow for a person of my weight is worth 608 calories, that rocks! I am going to feel it tomorrow.

I had dart league tonight and we had a Christmas potluck, wow is it hard to not overdo. Everything was so yummy. I ate a little too much and my band hurt all night, that'll show me! But it was all those wonderful dips and appetizers and meat and cheese trays, all the wonderful stuff you only eat a few times a year. Overall, my plate was pretty sparse compared to previous years, but for my new little stomach, I overdid it just a wee bit. All told, I think my calories for the day were on target and the shoveling will help a lot.

Cookie Monster

Today I found myself repeating an old behavior and it kinda caught me off guard. I was alone in the break room at work and I snuck a cookie off the holiday tray. I hurried to eat it before any of my co-workers came into the break room. Sneaking food and eating alone, there's an old behavior that I thought I had managed to get rid of. I don't know why I felt like I had to hide it today. I just felt like I shouldn't let people know that I was snacking, perhaps I don't want to be judged, or feel like a failure? I don't know. While it's no ones business what I choose to eat during the day, I shouldn't feel like I have to hide it. It was one cookie for crying out loud, and I can eat one cookie---I just can't eat ten of them.

I am feeling a little fickle about success lately I guess. Every once in a while I hear story about someone who has failed at weight loss surgery and gained their weight back. I hope and pray I am not one of those people, but I sometimes feel like someone (me) is going to pull out the rug from under me and all this progress will disappear. I think there are several issues at play here that are not lap band related, things that I have sought therapy for in the past. Self esteem issues, not feeling good enough, looking for validation, all that garbage. I have a few other life issues right now that are stressing me a bit, and I think when that happens, I tend to "run home to mamma" and in this case that is using old behaviors ingrained in my brain, such as seeking comfort food.

I just need to sort out my feelings here, and I suppose my blog is a good place to do it. It's interesting how long it really takes to change behaviors and patterns in your life and how easily it can be to slip back into them. I guess the difference today, is that I recognized it and and I am trying to figure out why it happened and I won't let it slip me up. OK, self so here's a pep talk. One cookie is not going to kill you and it's OK if people see you eat one and you don't need to explain to anyone what you are eating and why--only you need to know that. At the end of the day you are the one accountable for your calories. You have made a huge change in your life and it shows by the 90+ pounds gone off the scale, so get over your cookie from this afternoon and move on.

Second thought here, why did I want the cookie? Was I bored? Hungry? Craving sugar? What made me want it? I think I was a little hungry. Perhaps I haven't been allowing myself enough calories. I have been really trying to lose this month, and I think perhaps I am limiting my calories a bit too much. I also know that because I am feeling good restriction right now, I am not getting as much food down as I have in the past. Maybe I need to plan for a healthy mid afternoon snack and that way the cookies won't get to me. I have been trying to eat just my 3 meals a day, per my surgeons plan for success. But maybe I need to think about a low cal mid day pick me up. I have upped my calorie burning with more exercise this month, and perhaps my body is trying to tell me, give me some fuel! Good thoughts here, so glad I am learning to work through this stuff rather than fall back into old patterns. The old me would have had 3-4 cookies and then had a full supper and a snack later. Learn from it and leave it behind.

Back to the Gym

Wow, I took a little break from the gym, and it was so hard to want to go back...ugh. But I finally moved my ass out of my recliner and headed outside. I worked out for about an hour, so at least I can say that I wasn't completely worthless and lazy on a Saturday. Scale is still giving me 209, so glad it was willing to stick for me, on to 208! I have been trying to eat well. I have been really tight lately, which can be a good thing. It's been a little fickle. I definitely have restriction, and most of the time it is just right, but once in a while it is super tight and I feel like I am barely getting anything down. I don't think I can complain though, it just makes me think twice about chewing and eating slowly. It's all good. Life is good.

Oh, Oh, Oh...Two Oh Nine!

Thank you scale gods! I saw 209 this morning. I am not sure if it will stick, but dammit, I saw it! I love it when I get into the next weight bracket and this one is a very exciting one. Being in the two-oh's is awesome. Getting that much closer to saying goodbye to the 200's altogether. I can't believe that I am so close to that. We are talking decades of being in the 200's. I was in high school the last time I was under 200 and I am no spring chicken.

Slow and steady weight loss is a good thing, but boy can it drive you crazy as you get so wrapped up in one pound at a time you can easily forget the accumulative effect that each of those pounds adds up to. Like right now, I am totally obsessed with the next 9 pounds, but I forget that I wouldn't even be here if I hadn't lost the 94 pounds prior to that. What an amazing journey this has been, some days I still feel like this is somebody else's life.

I Don't Want To

I don't want to go to the gym tonight. It's cold out, I'm tired and I have a thousand other excuses. It wouldn't be the end of the world to take a day off, but I am just having one of those days. That's when I should really force myself to go to the gym. The workout would do me good, but right now I think it would take a fork lift to get me out of my recliner. I am always afraid that if I skip a day it is the start of a slippery slope of not going the next day, and the next. But if if use some reverse psychology here, perhaps if I allow myself a day off today, it wouldn't feel like such a chore. Am I talking in circles or what? I should go, I don't want to and I guess I am trying to convince myself it's ok, or give myself permission to have one slacker night. Ugh!

Here's the upside, I am very happy with weight loss so far this month, I am already down 4 pounds and it is only half way through the month. So that is going well. But I sooooo want to see 209 on the scale. That is the only reason I want to go to the gym because I know that will help me get there faster. But I cannot get my ass out of my chair. Some days your mind is your biggest enemy.

It's My Bandiversary!

One year ago today, December 15, 2009 I changed my life. I am so glad that I made that decision for myself. It has been a crazy year changing both physically and emotionally. So here are some quick stats:

Total Weight Loss from my High of 303: 93 pounds

Surgery Weight: 277

Today's Weight: 210

Weight Loss Since Surgery: 67 pounds, an average of 1.28 pounds per week.

Pants Size: Size 30 to Size 18

Shirt Size: Size 4X to Size XL

So here's the pictures you've all been waiting for of me and my huge pants! This was my pre-op picture, I am at about 285 pounds in a 3X shirt and size 30 jeans.

Holy cow, there's almost room for another person in there! All that belly fat is gone! Well--a good portion of it anyway! And look at those sleeves, before they were tightly stretched across my big fat upper arms. Now it's loose (even with my bat wings!) I think the third picture is my favorite shot. That's an awful lot of denim! I'm so glad that I am filling out less of it. Things are only going to get better from here! Happy Bandiversary to me!!!!

Biggest Loser Finale!

Woohoo! I got home from a great workout at the gym, had a nice healthy supper and now I am chillaxin watching the Biggest Loser finale. I love looking at the contestants at their goal weights and I just imagine what I will look and feel like at my goal weight. Some of them look so good at 190 or 180, it really gives me hope. I really am still wondering what a good final weight for me will be. I am at a point right now that I am about as "small" as I have ever been as an adult. So everything from here on in is just a bonus. I dream of being smaller than my friends and my sisters, a feat I have never accomplished. I just want to be smaller than someone else, LOL.

Countdown to my Bandiversary

I am so excited...tomorrow is my bandiversary! I am just bursting at the seams to write tomorrow's post and add the one year progress pictures. Where has the time gone? The clock is ticking...

Getting Laid...One Heck of an NSV

Well, after seeing the writing on the wall this past weekend I decided to call it quits with my eHarmony guy. I wanted more, he wasn't interested in more and as much as he wanted to be "just friends" my poor inexperienced heart just couldn't live with that.

I learned something about myself tonight...I am worth something. Being the fat girl my whole life, I do not have much experience with relationships---ok let's be totally honest with you, my blogging sisters, I am 38 and this is the first one for me. Yep, there I said it. I was a total virgin up until about 2 months ago. For a long time I was embarrassed about that, another hurtful part about being overweight much of my life. I was missing out on so much. No boyfriends in high school, no prom, no first kiss, no dates in college. How could anyone like me when I couldn't like myself at 300 pounds? One of my favorite movies is the 40 Year Old Virgin--perhaps because I could relate so well to it. I am happy to say that eHarmony guy was at least good for one thing...as I can say I checked one thing off my bucket list before I turned 40!

What I realized tonight was that I deserve more from life. It's ok for me to have hopes and dreams and to not settle for a guy because I am living in fear that another one may not come along who could love a fat girl/former fat girl. There is an unbelievable amount of baggage there that I need to deal with and I think I am doing it a little tonight. It's OK to want more, and to ask for what you need.

Ha ha, I just thought of something, I suppose losing my virginity is an NSV...perhaps it is the NSV of all NSV's! Better mark that one down on the list of lapband accomplishments. I will shout it from the rooftops, I don't care who knows. Weight loss helped me get laid for the first time...and the second...and the third. Here's to a whole lot more opportunities to get laid!

New Number!

I love it when the scale cooperates. This morning I saw 210! Are you kidding me? Two freakin ten! I don't even know when I was that light--high school for sure. Only as a teenager, never as an adult. Some days I just don't believe the numbers. I hope and pray that the pounds keep coming off. I love it when I don't have to work so hard at it. It just proves the point that I really needed my last fill. I need to do a better job of recognizing when those band changes occur.

When you band is working it is so "easy" to lose weight. I have awesome restriction since my last fill and going to the gym has really helped too. I love it when things are going right...shhh, don't want to jinx myself! It's an awesome month so far, down 4 pounds already and over half a month to go. Hope I can keep it up.

NSV...I Think?

Here's a new one, I have lost so much weight in my fingers I think I am finally going to have to stop wearing my rings before I lose them. They have been twisting and twirling around my fingers for months, but I think I finally got to the point where I think I may lose them taking my gloves on and off. So I think today is the day I take them off for good, and put them away for safe keeping. I have been wearing some of these rings for 20+ years, so it's kinda sad to take them off. So I guess it's an NSV? Perhaps it's a good excuse to go jewelry shopping--or asking that special someone to go shopping for me...haha, yeah right. Keep on dreaming.

In other news, I braved the cold to go to the gym this morning. Had a nice workout for about an hour. Even made it to 20 minutes on the ellipticals! Woohoo! This afternoon I am headed out on the road to see my eHarmony friend...friend with benefits...sweetie...honey...significant other...that guy who texts me every day? Hell if I know how to define what we are doing, but at any rate I am off to see that guy, LOL. I hope it's a good day. :)

TGIF

Oh I am so glad it is Friday! This week has been an absolute mine field of cookies and Christmas goodies. I couldn't say no to them all together, but I think I managed to make up for my calories throughout the day and I was stellar at getting to the gym. The scale has been kind, today I was at 211 again. I can't complain since it is headed in the right direction.

I had a good workout at the gym again tonight. Worked out on the ellipticals for 15 minutes, which is a new high for me, I am slowly working up my stamina on those. Also did combination walk/jog on the treadmill and then finished with weights. I am so glad I joined the gym, it will keep me working in the right direction.

Projectile Sliming...A New Experience!

Ok kids, this might be a little TMI for some of you who are squeamish...if so stop reading now. Ok, for those of you that can handle it, I have to tell you about my experience today with projectile sliming. OMG! I was headed to a holiday party/work meeting this morning and I decided that I should have a healthy snack prior to getting there so that I would avoid eating some high calorie, low nutrient foods. So I am driving down the road and I start eating an apple. I'm starting to feel a little tight, but I figure the feeling will pass. I am chewing like a trooper, really giving the peeling what for. Then I feel the sliming start, well guess that's my last bite of apple, so I throw the rest out the window.

Then the sliming really kicked in. Then I was really feeling a PB coming on and then suddenly my body decided that I needed a combination cough/PB and suddenly I am driving down the road at 65 miles an hour and there is a ball of slime being projected out of my mouth! My hand was the only thing stoping a large ball of slime from covering the windshield. I was literally holding a handful of slime trying to drive, reach for a tissue...an empty cup...an empty water bottle...anything to contain this wad...literally, a cup full of oozing alien slime. Damn who cleaned out my car? What in the world can I spew into? Should I pull over? Damn too much traffic! Finally I found a Wal-Mart bag and I deposited my slime, hoping to heaven that there wasn't a hole in the bottom of the bag. Now, that I have finally put down the slime ball, I see a napkin stuffed between the seats. I grab it and attempt to wipe my hand off. Good grief, what is this stuff made of! Then I had to check the front of my jacket and sweater to make sure I had not slimed right down the front of myself. That would be interesting to explain at my meeting...sorry about the stain, I spit up this morning! Thank goodness there was no one else in the car with me, they would have been absolutely horrified by this event. Ah the life of a lap bander...note to self it may be time to start taking the peeling off your apples before you eat them.

December Progress Picture & New Number

I felt cute in my new-to-me $2 bargain sweater today so I thought it was a good day to post my December progress picture. Plus, I saw a new number on the scale this morning too, so that made me feel awesome. So here I am at my current weight of 211. I am just a few days away from celebrating my bandiversary. I will get out my fat girl pants and do a before and after picture for that day...can't wait. I am so amazed by my progress. I am actually starting to believe the progress pictures, getting a little skinnier all the time.

I have been really good about getting to the gym---hey do you think that exercise might have something to do with the scale moving? Amazing concept huh? I can taste the two-oh's...as in 209, 208, etc. and then it's not far off from onederland. Crazy!

Lost my Willpower

I had a work meeting today and I was going to be soooooo good and not eat the Hershey's Kisses on the table, and I was also not going to eat the frosted sugar cookies, and I was also not going to have a cup of hot cider...ummm yeah, what happened to your willpower today? Holy cow, before I knew it I had devoured a 190 calorie cookie, 160 calories of Kisses and probably 130 calories in the glass of cider. Excuse me? Nearly 500 calories for that junk? What in the world was I doing? Well, at least I can say the whole day wasn't shot. I made up for my little binge by taking it easy on my supper calories. But oh my. It is so easy to just lose your mind.


I tried to tell myself that I wasn't going to have any, but after being in the same meeting room with the same people droning on hour after hour, I just craved it. So I started with one Kiss, then one more, then another then the person next to me had a cookie and I could smell the sweet yummyness. You know the cookies I am talking about...the super soft frosted sugar cookies that they typically sell at Wal-Mart. I've been known to eat whole packages in a weekend. So now I am sitting here getting myself geared up to back out in the cold to go to the gym. I would much rather sit in the warmth of my recliner, but I know I have to push myself...ugh!

Update...just got home from an hour workout at the gym. I feel so much better knowing I got in some physical activity today. It was a good workout, lots of cardio and more weight training. I am even getting better on the ellipticals, they are getting a little easier every time I get on them. Woohoo! So glad I got moving. Hope I start to see the scale move, been on 213 for a while now which is awesome, but I am ready to see 212!

Ooh..wait I forgot one more thing. I did some thrift store shopping today and I am so excited to say I found 3 sweaters, very cute brand name stuff and in great condition for the grand total of, get ready for it...$6.36. Awesome! Already have them in the wash so I can wear one to work tomorrow. One of them was a 1X and the other two were XL's. Awesome!

Being Average

Great post by Barb over at My Lucky Lapband got me thinking tonight and I decided that it would be a great topic to post over here tonight too. She asked if we ever fantasized about being thin. I don't think I have ever thought about being thin--instead it's more about not being as fat as I am today. This whole body image thing is a bit of a moving target for me. I was just talking to a friend at work today about the fact that I have always been fat--it was just varying degrees of fat. When I was in high school I probably weighed 200+ and I was fat. Then in my thirties I found my way to the 300's and I was fat. Both of them felt pretty much the same at the time...clothes don't fit, no energy, no dating life, low self esteem, pretty much a life at less than.

But wow, it isn't until I gained a little perspective that I realize that 200 can feel "skinny" after you've seen 300. But it's all relative, because I may think 200 is skinny, but compared to someone who is 150, it is still fat. Eek! It's like a damn riddle. There are days I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, "wow look at you skinny!" But put me up against some rail thin model and I would feel huge. Figuring out how to make the image in the mirror match the image in your head really takes some doing. So do I fantasize about being thin? I don't think so, because I have never known thin. It's unattainable, something I can't wrap my head around. So instead I would say that I fantasize about being "average" whatever that means. Just to have someone look at you and not judge you by the fat suit you are wearing, instead to just look at you and say she's average.

Another Good Workout

Went to the gym again today and had a good hour long work out again. Feeling good. :) I used to have a listing of my measurements on my blog but I think I lost it when I changed my template. Darn it wish I had written that down somewhere else. Oh well, all I know is I am shrinking and that's good. Might have to search my old posts to see if I wrote it down anywhere.

Who Knew I Had Muscles?

Worked out again this morning. I found some muscles I hadn't used in a while. Did 45 minutes of cardio and then 15 of weight lifting. I am so glad I got the gym membership again. It was just the motivation I needed to start my exercise again. I don't mind the treadmill, but it can get a little boring so I mixed it up with walking and jogging...me! jogging! I may not look real athletic, but at least I am trying. The recumbent bike is ok, but I get bored easily. I hate the stair climber, holy crap that kicks my ass, but I do a couple of minutes just to try to build up my stamina. Ellipticals are ok, good calorie burn, I gotta keep working on adding minutes. Weights are fun, feels like I am actually working my body...feel the burn. Today I also worked on some core strengthening with a balance ball. Best thing about the gym is that I can keep hopping from one thing to the next and never have the same workout two days in a row. Hope I can stay motivated to keep going!

I Got Off my Fat Ass!

I finally got off my fat ass and went to the gym. I did an hour workout including 45 minutes of cardio on the treadmill, ellipticals, stair climber, recumbent bike and then weight lifted the last 15 minutes. I feel awesome, I forgot how good it feels once you get done with a workout, love those endorphins. I treated myself to some new workout clothes, a cute pair of black yoga pants and a couple of bright t-shirts. I hope the scale gives me some quick positive feedback so that I will want to run to the gym at every chance. I'm planning on going back again tomorrow--as soon as a shovel the snow out of my driveway, it's snowing like crazy here right now. Then again maybe my shovel will give me enough of a workout, lol. We'll see.

Joined the Gym

I decided it was time to get serious about my exercise again so today I went and signed up for my gym membership again. I am actually looking forward to it. Now I just have to find some decent workout clothes that I wouldn't be embarrassed to wear out in public! Shopping opportunity I guess.

I had a membership one other time and I really did enjoy using the stuff there. Now I see they have added more new equipment too, including a stair climber. Now I just need to get into the habit of going on a regular basis. I think getting more physically active will help in several areas. Number one it will help to stave off those winter doldrums and it should kick my weight loss in high gear again, helping me to get to onederland that much quicker! So I am excited for 5:00 o'clock to come today and I can head out to try out all the new equipment tonight. Maybe I will find some muscles I forgot I had.

I've Lost 90 Pounds!

Woo hoo! I did it, I saw 213 on the scale this morning. That means I get to mark another major milestone off my to do list. I Have officially lost 90 pounds total (64 since surgery). That is a crazy number to write here. Yippee for me! Next stop 100 pounds and onederland. I sure hope I don't have to fight so hard for these next 10 pounds--let's worry about that later, for today I am celebrating!

It is so awesome to keep marking off each accomplishment. This lapband thing is a long and slow process and sometimes you can get so stuck on one pound at a time, but when you add them all together it is awesome. What a huge difference this has made in my life. I can't imagine why I waited so long to help myself. I think of some of my friends who are fat and miserable and their health is failing and I just want to slap them in the face and say save yourself! I would not trade my lapband experience for anything in the world.

I Lost 2 Pounds in November!

Well, after a very tumultuous ride in the month of November I am so pleased to say that my official weight loss for the month of November was 2 pounds. I was so afraid that I would have a gain last month. So I am so glad to say it is December 1 and I am starting the month off at 214.

There are lots of milestones to hit this month, as I will be celebrating my bandiversary on December 15. Watch for upcoming pictures featuring my largest size pants and what I look like in them today...woohoo! They are just 5 sizes larger than what I wear now. That's insane. Another milestone I hope to see in the next few days is a 90 pound total weight loss. I can't wait to see 213 on the scale. Once I hit that I will be sliding ever so much closer to the big ones in the next month or two (cross my fingers)...100 pounds gone and onederland! I am just bursting with anticipation.

I really need to kick it in the ass when it comes to exercise though, I know that would help me reach my goals quicker, but wow I am struggling to get motivated to do any sort of physical activity. Since it is the first of the month I should give myself a little mini challenge here. Might have to think on that and report back tonight. I will work on that.