I had a thought this morning, as I was struggling to get my breakfast smoothie down. Is this what I expected lapband life to be like? I think in the first year after banding I didn't mind feeling my band, because then I knew it was working and I was losing weight. I was happy with it. But lately, it almost seems like a nuisance to me. I am feeling good green zone kind of restriction right now, but I am always tight early in the morning, so I have to go slow. It's taken me a half hour to eat my smoothie--a liquid!! I have felt pressure, had the hiccups for going to fast and am sliming just a little bit. What a process. Granted my meals later in the day go a little better, but they too take at least a half hour and are a bit of a production. All part of being banded I guess.
Is there such a thing as lapband fatigue? Like I am just tired of having a lapband and all the fuss a weight loss surgery comes with? Maybe it's just frustration in not losing as fast as I would like. Maybe I had a taste of what unencumbered eating was like again (that's why I gained 25 pounds back!!). Maybe it is as others have described, the honeymoon period of easy weight loss is over and I am not at goal so there are major frustrations in that.
I am kinda sick of having a lapband, yet I know that if I were to be without it I would easily regain all of my weight back and more. Today the scale said 219 and that means I have lost a total of 84 pounds. I should be proud of that, that's huge. But I am also kicking myself because at one point I was able to say I've lost 100 pounds! At one point I could also say I am under 200 pounds, finding my way into onederland--not any more though. Ugh. It is a constant mental and physical battle. I'm tired of the fight, but I know that without the fight I would be back to 300 pounds plus in a heart beat.
Well, perhaps I need a reminder of what 84 pounds looks like (my high of 303 to my current 219), so for posterity sake here's a comparison picture. (Who is that girl!?) You have made progress. It is worth the battle. You will get to a goal of being under 200 pounds again. Just keeping going. You still have important work to do.